


Resolution

by nochick_fics



Category: Loveless
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Death, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Future Fic, M/M, Physical Abuse, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-16 17:46:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 30,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10576335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nochick_fics/pseuds/nochick_fics
Summary: Can Ritsuka forgive Soubi in time to save him?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is primarily inspired by the anime/first four volumes of Loveless and does not go into all the things we learn about Soubi--particularly his Fighter status--in the manga. (Therefore, Nisei does not exist in this story.)

**NOW**

 

Ritsuka stood outside of the apartment building, craning his neck up to the window.  _His_ window.

The young man watched carefully with amethyst-colored eyes that, years later, were still full of intensity, even if they were no longer so naive.

He shook his head, amazed that he had ever been that innocent. That trusting. That _happy_.

When he tried to remember those emotions, he felt nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  It was as if those feelings had belonged to a different person altogether. 

All he could recall, all he’d known in the past few years, were darker things. 

The things he could never forget.

Ritsuka closed his eyes and sighed, feeling the phantom twitch of ears long gone.

_Soubi needs you._  

Kio’s pleading words reverberated through Ritsuka’s mind and he caught himself actually taking a step toward the apartment…

But he couldn’t.

He just couldn’t.

Not yet.

After everything that had happened between them… and everything Soubi had done…

_No._

Ritsuka quickly turned around and walked away from the building, blinking away tears and imagining the tail that no longer existed twirling behind him in the breeze.

It was too soon…

*****

It was too late…

Soubi sat on the edge of his bed and turned Seimei's knife over in his hands, the blade gleaming with deadly luster in the bright light of the small room.  

He smiled sadly, feeling very much a fool.

He had actually believed that Ritsuka might come.   

In his heart, which had so little reason to hope for anything, Soubi had believed it to be true.

_Idiot._

Of course Ritsuka wouldn’t come. 

And why should he?

After everything that had happened between them… and everything he had done…

Ritsuka had saved him so many times before.  By his words, his touch, his mere presence alone.

This time the boy was right to save himself. 

Soubi slowly stood up and walked over to the dresser, over which hung a cracked mirror.  He closed his eyes and sighed.

It was time.

He unwound the thin, white material from his neck with his free hand, letting it flutter to the ground.  When he was finished, he forced his eyes open and stared at the scarred reminder of the man he once was.

Beloved.

The name that had both enraptured and enslaved him, so many years ago. 

The name behind all of the misery.

The name that made him what he was. And what he feared he would always be.

With a calm, steady hand, Soubi raised the weapon to the jagged _B_.

It was only fitting for the knife that started it all to end everything.


	2. The Dream is Over

**THEN**

 

Five more minutes. 

He could spare five more minutes to stare at the heavenly face sleeping beside him. 

Ritsuka turned over onto his side, slowly so as not to disturb him.  He leaned on his elbow and rested his head in his hand, staring down at his Fighter… his boyfriend… and most recently, his lover. 

 _Almost lover_ , the seventeen-year-old corrected, twitching his ears and tail as a reminder of that fact.  For the past six months, they had done everything that lovers could possibly do, except for the one thing that would relieve him of his virginal appendages.  Thinking of the night before, and the things that Soubi’s mouth and hands had done to make him cry out until he was hoarse, it wasn’t long before another part of him began twitching as well.

Trying to ignore his morning growth, Ritsuka smiled warmly as his eyes trailed past Soubi’s face to the long blond hair that fanned across the pillow beneath him.  He reached out and twirled his fingers around a lock of it, loving the way the silky smooth strands felt against his skin.  There was little else in the world that Ritsuka loved more than to lose himself in Soubi’s hair, breathing in the faint lavender scent of it.  Only the man’s startling blue eyes captivated him more.

As if on cue, Soubi’s eyelids fluttered briefly before opening, staring up at his young lover in a way that sent a chill down Ritsuka’s spine. 

“Good morning,” he said softly, wrapping his arms around the teen’s waist and drawing him closer.

“Soubi.”  Ritsuka blushed and pulled away, not wanting him to feel his erection.  But it was too late; it had already brushed up against Soubi’s thigh, prompting a most incredibly seductive smile to form on his lips. 

“You should get back before she realizes you’re gone,” Soubi said, reluctantly loosening his grip on Ritsuka’s slender hips. 

After a moment of consideration, Ritsuka crawled out of the bed and grabbed the shirt and jeans he wore the night before.  He turned away from the bed so Soubi couldn’t see just how aroused he really was beneath the thin material of the shorts he wore.  Still, he could feel the man’s eyes taking in every inch of him, which did little to soothe his current dilemma.

“I’ll be back after school,” he said, carefully fastening his jeans and yanking his shirt down over the noticeable bulge in his crotch before turning around. 

Soubi yawned and rolled onto his back, stretching out his long, lean body.  “Alright.  I’ll cook dinner then.”

Ritsuka kept his eyes trained on Soubi’s, although he was painfully aware of the man’s own urgent situation beneath the sheet that covered him.  He bent over the bed and allowed him a quick, chaste kiss before walking to the door.

“I love you, Ritsuka.”

Ritsuka paused with his hand on the door of the small, one room apartment.  His cheeks glowed scarlet and he lowered his head, causing his hair to fall forward and conceal his face.

“Love you too,” he whispered before bolting out of the door, far too embarrassed to look up and see the stunned look on Soubi’s face.

*****

He had just managed to make it back into his room when Misaki began her morning ritual of pounding on his bedroom door.  While her violent administrations had dwindled considerably over the years, her paranoia was still very much alive.

“Ritsuka!  Wake up!  You’ll be late for school!” she shouted fearfully.

“I’m up,” Ritsuka calmly called out, not wanting to upset her further.  “I’ll be down in a few minutes,” he reassured her. 

Upon hearing her retreating footsteps, the teen heaved a large sigh of relief; that had been too close.

He retrieved a different outfit from his closet before shedding the clothes he had worn yesterday.  After dressing, he ran a brush through his hair, although the end result was pretty much the same as it had looked before. 

_Love you too._

Ritsuka blushed again as he recalled his words to the older man, whose face had been rightfully shocked beyond belief.  He didn’t know why he had chosen that particular moment to finally say what he had felt for years now.  It just felt right.

And long overdue.

“Soubi,” he said softly, loving the way the man’s name fell from his lips, be it a whisper or a moan or a scream--

“Ritsuka!”  The suspicion in his mother’s voice was stronger now.

“Be right there!” he yelled, hurriedly walking out of the bedroom and downstairs for breakfast. 

*****

Soubi made it into his apartment with minimal fuss bearing two armfuls of overflowing grocery bags.  It was a bit of a splurge, especially on a graduate student’s income, but he rarely got to treat Ritsuka to dinner and wanted to make the most of the occasion.

He kicked the door closed behind him and managed his way into the kitchen area, slamming the bags down on the counter.  As he began to put the items away, he found his mind, yet again, wandering back to Ritsuka’s bashful declaration of love.

Five long years.

It had been five years since he had first met the boy bound to him by order who would become the man bound to him by love.  And in that time, blessedly free from the harsh commands of twisted Sacrifices, Soubi was slowly able to regain a semblance of humanity.  He was no longer a zombie, lost without the cruel hand of Seimei to guide him.

He was happy. Finally, he was happy.

And even more importantly, he was _loved_.

*****

“Ritsuka,” Soubi said, drying a plate with a towel.  “You don’t have to do that.”

“You cooked.  This is the least I can do.  You just keep drying.”

Soubi regarded his young lover as he bent over the kitchen sink, washing each dish, pot, and pan with all the precision of a surgeon.  His dark hair hung down over his face and Soubi reached out, sweeping it across his forehead and out of his eyes. 

“Is that an order?” he asked with a smug grin.

Ritsuka gave him a sidelong glance.  “Yes,” he said, reaching into the water and playfully splashing him with a handful.

“Oh, I see,” Soubi said, calmly placing the towel aside and removing his glasses.  Before Ritsuka could react, Soubi was behind him, pinning him with one hand and splashing him in the face with the other.

“Soubi!” Ritsuka yelled, trying to squirm out of the strong man’s arms.

When he tried to aim a second handful of water at Soubi, he only succeeded at hitting himself in the face, which caused the older man to laugh merrily.  Ritsuka was struck once again by the joy in Soubi’s voice.  It was such a natural sound that it was hard to believe it had ever taken years to perfect.

“Great,” Ritsuka proclaimed, turning around in Soubi’s arms and staring up at him through damp, shaggy hair.  “I’m all wet now.” 

Soubi reached for the towel he had placed nearby and slowly wiped the water from Ritsuka’s face, hair, and ears, never taking his eyes off of him.  “Better?” he asked, running it along the length of Ritsuka’s nose and following it with a kiss.

Wrapping his arms tightly around Soubi’s neck, Ritsuka leaned in to kiss him.  Slow, soft pecks soon gave way to a deep, passionate kiss.  Soubi playfully nipped at Ritsuka’s tongue; it was something he almost always did as a result of their long-ago conversation about tongue biting, something which never failed to make Ritsuka smile in remembrance. 

The lovers quickly fumbled their way over to Soubi’s bed, shedding their clothing and falling onto the mattress, entwined in each other’s arms and legs, grinding against each other with agonizing slowness. 

“Soubi,” Ritsuka breathed, unable to wait any longer. “Soubi… Soubi…”  He spread his legs and wrapped them around Soubi’s waist, thrusting up against the man’s body and making his intentions perfectly clear.

Soubi tried to extract himself from the teen’s grip. “Ritsuka--”

“I want this. Please.”  With a shaking hand, Ritsuka reached between their bodies and placed Soubi’s throbbing erection exactly where he wanted it to go. He continued thrusting his own against Soubi's abdomen, causing him to shudder and moan uncontrollably.

“Is that an order?” Soubi managed, smiling down at him.

Ritsuka could only nod and smile in return, pulling him down for a kiss.

*****

Soubi opened his eyes and sat up, squinting at a clock on the wall. It was just past midnight. 

He turned to look at Ritsuka, who dozed heavily beside him.  Soubi reached down and kissed his now earless head. 

He had somehow expected that Ritsuka would look drastically different without them.  Older.  But he looked… exactly like Ritsuka. 

Soubi peered in the darkness for Ritsuka’s ears and frowned when he couldn’t find them. His tail was missing too.  Maybe Ritsuka had put them away while he slept. Weird, but not implausible.

He eased himself out of the bed to use the bathroom.  When he was done, he walked into the kitchen area and filled a glass with water.  As he raised it to his lips, a figure emerged in the darkness and startled him into dropping it.  He barely registered the sting of shards as the glass disintegrated on the hard floor around his feet.

A familiar figure.

One that died a long time ago.

Soubi exhaled sharply as if someone had punched him in the stomach.  A shroud of fear and dread enveloped him.    
  
Seimei, the beautiful monster himself, his master, his god, stepped out of the darkness and smiled lovingly at Soubi.  He put his finger to his lips and motioned toward the bed where his little brother slumbered peacefully.

“Soubi,” he said softly in an angelic voice. One word. One name. One simple command.

The Fighter dropped to the floor, dimly aware of the warmth of blood from his cut knees pooling around him.  He closed his eyes and bowed his head as a lifetime of conditioning destroyed the past five years of his emotional evolution in a single blow. 

Seimei grabbed a handful of Soubi’s hair and pulled his head up, staring at him with the same deceptively kind face that had once been his sole reason for living. 

To Soubi’s horror, Seimei held up Ritsuka’s ears and tail, which was wrapped neatly around his wrist and hand.  “I see that you’ve been busy in my absence.” He held Ritsuka’s ears to his nose and inhaled deeply, as if savoring the scent of a rose, while his own twitched in response. “I’ve been watching you all this time. You're very beautiful when you pretend that you are an actual living, breathing human being.  An impressive charade.”

“Seimei...”

Fingers tightened in Soubi's hair, urging his silence.

“You are _mine_ ,” Seimei continued. “I am very disappointed that you seem to have forgotten this.  I left you behind to fight for him.  Not to bond with him.  And certainly not to fuck him.”

Soubi’s eyes fell upon the bed where Ritsuka slept soundly before being yanked harshly back into Seimei’s line of sight. 

“How was he?  How did he feel? ... How did he taste?  I must admit I’m somewhat curious.”  Seimei turned away coyly and smirked.  “Never mind. We will discuss my brother’s body another time.  We will discuss a great many things in the very near future, Soubi.  But for now, you must save him.”

Terror raced through Soubi’s heart.  “Save him?”

“Yes, you idiot.  Did you stop to think that you couldn’t just send him home earless and tailless without consequence from my mother?  Of course not.  You were thinking with your cock.  There is no way my mother would let this go without hurting him.  Badly.  You've endangered him, you selfish bastard.  And now you must fix it.”

“How…?”

“You don’t have much time.  Go.  Now.  To my mother’s house.”

Seimei rubbed his little brother’s recently departed tail against Soubi’s cheek and smiled sweetly.

“Kill her.”   
  
  
  
  
_Betrayed - by my soul_  
_The blame - placed on my shoulders_  
_Weight - I will carry all the way to my grave_  
_I cannot be saved- abandoned is my faith_  
_Awaken now the dream is over_  
  
_"The Dream is Over"  by Mushroomhead  
_


	3. Predestined Horror

Seimei stared down at his little brother, letting his eyes trail across the length of his body and pausing in places that would have surely caused the young man great discomfort had he known he was being considered in such a way by his own flesh and blood. Even without his ears, Ritsuka’s face still bore the remnants of the sweet, innocent child he had been when Seimei “died,” leaving him to fend for himself. Or rather, leaving Soubi to fend for him.

A murderous surge of jealousy coursed through him as he looked at his brother’s new earless features, his own ears twitching angrily in response to the sight of him. 

But Ritsuka wasn’t the one of whom he was jealous, or the one he hated.

_Never you, Ritsuka_ , Seimei thought, turning around to glare at the ashen, almost lifeless face of his Fighter.

There was a small speck of red on Soubi’s cheek. It could have been anything. Anything at all. Except it wasn't.

Seimei leaned in close to Soubi, smiling happily at the sharp intake of breath that came from the older, taller man who couldn't bring himself to meet his owner's gaze.

“Missed a spot,” he whispered, sticking out his tongue and slowly dragging it along the crimson splotch. Because it had dried, Seimei had to repeat the motion a few more times, running his tongue with agonizing deliberateness along Soubi’s cheek and causing him to moan. “Meet me at our old place tonight.”

Considering the heartbreaking horror of what was soon to come, Soubi opened his mouth to speak but, remembering his place, shut it immediately. He was promptly rewarded with severe pain in his left nipple as Seimei pinched and twisted it hard. He bit deeply into his bottom lip to refrain from vocalizing his agony.

“Find a way.” The statement left no room for question. 

“Yes--”

  _I’m sorry, Ritsuka._

  _“… Master.”_

*****

Ritsuka groaned and turned over, throwing his arm across Soubi’s chest and smiling to himself as he instantly felt his hand being enclosed in his lover’s. He felt a dull ache in the lower part of his body but it was nothing, nothing at all, compared to the happiness in his heart. He could lie there forever--

His eyes flew open. He immediately knew he was in trouble not only by the quality of daylight filtering into the small apartment but also the suspicious feeling of restfulness that he only ever experienced on mornings he was able to sleep in. Ritsuka squinted and willed his eyes to focus on the clock, which indicated that his first class would be starting in ten minutes.

“Damn it!” he yelled, catapulting himself out of the warm bed and racing to grab his clothes, all while trying to ignore his internal discomfort. He would just have to wear the same clothes as yesterday.

After tripping himself up in the legs of his jeans and hurriedly yanking his shirt down over his head, Ritsuka caught his reflection in the small mirror that hung over Soubi’s dresser. He paused, fascinated by the sight of himself without the ears that had seemingly defined him for almost eighteen years.

He didn’t feel that some mystical transformation into adulthood had taken place. He still felt like himself, just a bit… evolved. He glanced back at the ears and tail which were lying on the floor next to the bed; Soubi must have put them there during the night. He’d heard of some people holding onto them as strange, virginal keepsakes, but he found that he had absolutely no interest whatsoever in doing that. What was the point of it? To Ritsuka, losing his ears didn’t feel any different than the initial wonder he felt when he began losing his baby teeth as a youngster.

In his mind’s eye, he could feel them twitch. It was a surreal sensation; he remembered learning about amputees who had the same phantom sensations in limbs that were no longer there. 

_Phantom twitch_ , he thought wryly. 

Strong arms wrapped around his waist. “Do you regret it?” Soubi asked, pressing his face into the crook of Ritsuka’s neck.

“Of course not,” Ritsuka said, leaning back against his lover’s body and gazing at him through the mirror. “Never.”

“But your mother…”

“I’ll deal with it,” the teen insisted, grateful that he’d overslept so that he would not have to face her just yet and even more grateful that he’d changed his cell phone number months ago. It had become an embarrassment, her constant calling when he wasn’t home, even before his curfew. “I can't stop living my life because of what she might do. Not anymore.”

Ritsuka sighed, feeling the heaviness of his proclamation weigh down on his heart. He wasn’t afraid of Misaki, but the years of walking on eggshells to make her happy would definitely come to an end the second she saw him. 

He allowed himself the pleasure of being held in Soubi’s backward embrace for another minute before reluctantly pulling away. “I have to go,” he said, wrapping his arms around the man’s neck and kissing him softly. 

After that, he grabbed his bag and walked to front door. He stopped and ran a hand along the top of his head.

“Yuiko is going to call you, you know,” he warned. 

Soubi smiled softly and, Ritsuka thought, a bit sadly. “I suspected as much,” he said. “I’ll see you tonight.”

Ritsuka nodded and stepped out of the room.

The Fighter stood there for very long time after Ritsuka left. Eventually he went into the bathroom, turned on the shower, and got in, washing away not only any remaining traces of what he had done the night before, but perhaps the last vestiges of his humanity as well.

*****

Ritsuka walked quickly toward the school building. He didn’t bother trying to concoct an excuse for his tardiness; the explanation was going to be obvious to everyone when he stepped inside of the classroom. 

But what of it? He was in his last year. Many of his classmates had long since lost their ears, including Yuiko and Yayoi. It wasn’t a big deal at all; if anything, he was finally catching up. 

Thinking nothing of the parked police car he walked past--sometimes officers came in to talk to students about the dangers of drugs and things like that--Ritsuka opened the door of the school’s main entrance and stepped inside… where he quickly discovered that the loss of his ears was the last thing he would ever have to worry about.

*****

“They think I did it,” Ritsuka said in a small, pained voice that hurt Soubi’s heart.

“No they don’t,” Soubi reassured him, gently stroking the head that rested in his lap. “They had to ask you those things because you weren’t home last night,” he said, failing to add he was fairly certain that even the police would be smart enough to figure out there was no possible way someone of Ritsuka’s size was physically able to do… what had been done.

He’d received the call about two hours after Ritsuka had left that morning and dutifully ran to the teen’s side as news of the murder, and the horrifically gruesome nature of it, began to spread. He was able to corroborate Ritsuka’s assertion that he was at Soubi’s apartment the entire night, a fact that was even further supported by interviews with the boy’s teachers, who were all able to testify that he’d had his ears up until that day. 

In other words, he was too busy losing his ears to Soubi to have killed his mother.

“Seimei… Mom…” Ritsuka whispered shakily. His breath hitched a few times, but he managed not to cry. Yet. 

Soubi moved his hand down to rub Ritsuka’s back. He felt the teen let out a shuddering sigh against his thigh. 

“My dad hasn’t returned my calls yet,” he said of the man who had long since taken leave of his delusional wife. 

Soubi nodded, having come to hate the man who abandoned his son to Misaki’s verbal and physical abuse. “I’m sure they will find him,” he said. “It’s just a matter of--”

_Soubi._

“… time…” Soubi finished.

Seimei. Seimei was calling for him, summoning him. The voice ransacked his brain, filled it, until it was the only thing there. He pressed his free hand to his temple, as if to contain the command that threatened to split his head in two. To his own horror, he almost dumped the traumatized teen off his lap and stood up, but he managed to control himself. Barely.

He would not be able to do so much longer. Seimei’s word was law, after all.

A law that he would never be free from, as long as the Sacrifice was alive.

_I’m waiting._

“Yes,” Soubi obediently answered, dangerously close to adding “master” to his reply.

“Hm?” Ritsuka raised his head and looked at Soubi, who smiled warmly at him.

“Nothing. I was just… thinking out loud,” he replied. He leaned over and kissed Ritsuka’s forehead, using the opportunity to slide from beneath him and stand up. “I’m going to go… and pick up some of your things. You’ve already worn those clothes two days in a row.”

“But it’s a crime scene,” Ritsuka said. “You can’t just go in there.”

“I’m going to ask if someone will go inside for me,” Soubi said, having absolutely no intention of doing so. He gently pushed Ritsuka’s head down on a pillow and covered him with a blanket. Just try and get some rest; I won’t be long.”

_Please, Ritsuka,_ he thought. _Please don’t ask me to stay._

“Oh… okay,” the teen responded hesitantly.

Soubi ran his fingers through Ritsuka’s hair. “Everything is going to be alright,” he said. “I’ll be right back.”

He quietly walked out of the apartment, leaving Ritsuka alone with his thoughts. 

*****

Ritsuka pulled the blanket over his head and curled into a ball, letting the darkness consume him. He hadn’t wanted Soubi to leave, even if it was just for a little while. 

First Seimei and now his mother, both of them murdered in unthinkable ways. Misaki had been… most difficult. But he loved her all the same.

His breath hitched again; his body seemed to be fighting the inevitable onslaught of tears, not just for his mother, but his entire family. They were all lost to him now. He was so grateful that he had Soubi.

A sudden thought arose in his muddled mind with alarming clarity. Soubi hadn’t told him that he loved him when he left. He hadn't said it that morning, either.

It was nothing. Surely. Wasn’t he the one, after all, who had always made an issue about how often Soubi _did_ say it? Maybe he had just finally decided to respect Ritsuka’s wishes.

Still...

The young man let out a sad sigh and closed his eyes, falling into a fitful sleep while waiting for Soubi to return home.

*****

The old place.

The place Soubi had prayed he would never have to see again as long as he lived.

The place where he now stood, his wrists bound over his head by cuffs that were attached to a chain. He remembered this rather well; suspension bondage was one of Seimei’s favorite torture games. This was just a warm-up.

The demonic angel himself slowly circled his shirtless victim. Soubi closed his eyes and lowered his head as a sea of conflicting emotions--love and hate, devotion and fury, excitement and fear--ran throughout his body. 

His years with Ritsuka already seemed like a beautiful dream; _this_ was his reality. Seimei had never died. He had always been Beloved. Damned.

Seimei still had his ears and his tail. His virginity was something he seemed to treasure greatly, and something Soubi was once willing to have at any cost. That was not to say, however, that he had no knowledge of another man’s body. Seimei knew Soubi’s body quite well, in fact. And Soubi didn’t have to see the table behind him to know the things on it, laid out with all the care of a doctor preparing for an operation, devices that would cause him great pain and pleasure.

But mostly pain. Almost always pain.

Soubi could hear clinking sounds coming from the table and wondered what would be used against him first. 

“You've forgotten about me, Soubi. You've forgotten your name.”

Seimei approached Soubi with one arm concealed behind his back. He used his other hand to unwrap the bandage from Soubi’s neck, letting it fall to the floor to reveal the name carved into the Fighter’s smooth flesh. 

“I forgive you," he continued. "I understand my brother’s charm.” He ran his fingers along the jagged letters of the Beloved scar that he himself had branded onto Soubi’s body at such a young, tender age.

Soubi squeezed his eyes shut against Seimei’s touch, not wanting to want it and hating his body for reacting to it. 

"Let’s start over, shall we?” 

He didn’t need to open his eyes to know that the knife was there, poised above his throat. He tried to find solace in thoughts of Ritsuka, knowing in his heart it was far too late for such comfort.

_If only I could have belonged to you from the start,_ he lamented, gritting his teeth against the sensation of being carved like a piece of meat.  _Ritsuka..._

*****

“Soubi?”

Ritsuka sat up with a start. He could have sworn he heard…

He shook his head. He checked the time and frowned; Soubi had been gone almost two hours now. Fumbling for his cell phone, he tried calling him and was only able to reach his voice mail.

“Where are you?”  

Ritsuka flopped back onto the bed. A terrible thought surfaced and he pushed it away in anger.

Soubi was with him last night. All night. He was certain of it… even if he _had_ slept like a log.

And even if not, Soubi would never…  _c_ _ould_ never…

How could he even consider such a thing? What kind of boyfriend suspects his lover, even in passing, of that level of atrocity? Ritsuka was ashamed of himself for letting his mind wander in such an impossible direction.

_If… if Seimei came back to life…. If he ordered you to kill me…. What would you do?_

Ritsuka slapped a hand to his face. Why was he remembering that years-ago conversation all of a sudden?

Whatever. It didn't matter. The bottom line was that Soubi would never do anything to hurt him. Period. 

He was willing to bet his life on it.

*****

At that moment, something was beginning…

 

  

_I lie awake, unable to move_  
_Within myself battle reigns supreme_  
_I've fallen victim to my own reality_  
_Destined is the broken path that I contemplate_  
_It sadly brought me here spawning this grievous fate_  
_Remorse won't suffice_  
_So it must be that nothing lies ahead for me_  
_Nothing but horror._

_“Predestined Horror”  by Vasaria_


	4. The Beast Inside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Creepy Seimei is exceptionally creepy.

The battered man slowly staggered up the steps that led to home, clinging to the railing for support and stopping frequently to gather his breath, his body aching at the savage violation he had received at the hands of a monster. 

There had been pleasure too, at first. A pleasure that had caused him to cry out until he was hoarse as every muscle in his body contracted by the sheer force of it. 

But then it was gone. And only the pain remained. The pain _always_ remained.

Light filtered from the door and the window out into the night, rendering useless his hopes of finding the teen asleep. Soubi stopped outside of the door to his apartment and leaned his head against the wall, finding small solace in the coolness that touched his skin. He could still feel the sensation of Seimei’s touch on him, inside of him, and he shivered in memory of it. For one who generally hated human contact, the Sacrifice was awfully damn good at what he did.

Soubi reached up to his neck and carefully readjusted the bandage there, having had to turn it around so that the blood-stained portion of it was concealed beneath his long, blond hair. It would be no good at all for Ritsuka to question why his Beloved scar had bled; the days of spell battles, in which it had often bled freely when he fought as Loveless, were long gone. 

Even those times now seemed like a faraway memory that might not have existed at all.

He sighed heavily and grasped the doorknob...

*****

... only to find it being turned through his grip. The door flew open and banged loudly off of the wall behind it.

“Where the hell have you been?! I’ve been trying to call you for an hour!” Ritsuka cried out in a voice that hurt the miniscule part of Soubi’s heart left unblemished by Seimei’s disease. 

“I wasn’t able to get into your house,” Soubi began, carefully reciting his pre-planned excuse. “I went over to Kio’s to let him know that I would be taking some time away from classes and made arrangements with him to find out what I would be missing. My phone must have died,” he concluded, pulling it out of his pocket and pretending to check it, having already turned it off before he met with Seimei. 

He could see the teen visibly struggle to accept his words and knew he was in the clear. True, Ritsuka could simply verify his excuse by talking to Kio. But Soubi had to do nothing more than bat his eyelashes for Kio to corroborate his story if need be, although he didn’t think it would come to that.

Ritsuka would believe him. 

Because he wanted to believe him. 

 “W-well,” Ritsuka stammered. “You need to make sure it’s charged from now on,” he finished, standing back so that Soubi could enter and closing the door behind him. “How many years now have I had to get on your case about answering when I call you?”

Soubi gently cupped his cheek, causing a light blush to spread across Ritsuka’s face as he nuzzled the palm of the older man’s hand. 

“I’m very sorry that I worried you,” Soubi said softly. 

Ritsuka shook his head and covered Soubi’s hand with his own. “It’s okay,” he said quietly, casting a pleading gaze into Soubi’s eyes. “Just… just come to bed.”

Soubi smiled and nodded. “First I want to wash--”

\-- _off the stench of Seimei’s touch_ \--

“--up. I’ll just be a minute.” He reluctantly pulled his hand out of Ritsuka’s and carefully walked into the bathroom, trying to ignore the pain that ravaged his body as well as the weight of the stare that followed him.

*****

Ritsuka looked at the closed door.

After a moment, he quietly crawled back into the bed and waited for Soubi to join him, stubbornly shutting out the questions before they could surface.

Soubi was home. 

Nothing else mattered.

*****

Soubi turned off the hot water and sucked in his breath as freezing droplets rained down over him.  He closed his eyes and shuddered as his body temperature began to drop and found himself thinking of Natsuo and Youji, of all people. 

This was a different kind of pain, one much more preferable to his internal discomfort but still unpleasant overall. Even so, he resolved himself to endure it, as it would be the first of many ice cold showers to come if he was going to be able to withstand Seimei’s parting command.

*****

In the days following Misaki’s funeral, Ritsuka was finally able to retrieve his belongings and move them into Soubi’s apartment. His father ultimately surfaced long enough to lay his wife to rest and expressed no overwhelming desire to take the boy under his wing, which suited the seventeen-year-old just fine.

The police were still searching for the killer.

Ritsuka returned to school and settled back into a normal routine. Yuiko and Yayoi ribbed him about joining the Earless Club and the three friends made plans to make their monthly visit to Hitomi-sensei, who had finally joined the club herself about a year ago. 

On the days that Soubi did not have an evening class, Ritsuka would return home from school to the smell of cooking food. The couple would eat dinner and talk about their day, and then, after cleaning up, Ritsuka would settle down to do homework while Soubi painted or excused himself to go to Kio’s place or the library. At night, they would curl into each other’s arms and fall asleep, only to repeat the process again the next day. It was almost everything Ritsuka had ever wanted... except for the fact that they hadn’t made love since that night. 

*****

And he couldn't stand it any longer. Tonight was going to be the night.

Ritsuka slowly dried a plate and began to devise a plan to seduce Soubi. Well, not so much a plan as an outright assault. He kept his head down as he wiped the plate, not wanting Soubi to see the blush that crept into his cheeks over the thought of pinning him down and--

“Ritsuka?”

The plate, which had been completely dry for minutes now, slipped from Ritsuka’s grasp and fell onto the floor where it thankfully managed not to shatter.

“Sorry!” the flustered teen exclaimed, kneeling down to get it. As he reached out to grab the plate, Soubi’s hand quickly covered his.

“Are you alright?” Soubi asked with concern, kneeling down beside him.

“I’m fine,” Ritsuka insisted, although his crimson face showed otherwise. He stood up and quickly realized that the outcome of his previous thoughts was straining against the front of his pants and was now directly in front of Soubi’s face. “I’m fine!” he exclaimed again, quickly turning away and proving that he was anything but. He grabbed another dish and proceeded to wipe it while Soubi stared thoughtfully at him. 

“Ritsuka,” Soubi said softly, turning him around and unzipping his pants.

“Soubi,” Ritsuka gasped, feeling the man’s warm fingers wrap around him and almost climaxing from that alone. 

Soubi pushed Ritsuka back against the sink and took him into this mouth, slowly teasing every inch of him with his tongue until Ritsuka came hard, crying out and grabbing onto his hair, arching backward, the tail of his shirt dipping into the sink water, shuddering as he felt Soubi swallow around him.

“Sou…” was all he could say as Soubi zipped him back up. He remained at the sink, bracing against it for support and uncertain his legs would allow him to walk anytime soon. 

Soubi grinned in that way that made Ritsuka’s heart soar. He stood up and pressed his forehead against Ritsuka’s, taking great care to keep distance between their bodies. “I have some work I want to get done before it gets too late,” he said.

Ritsuka pulled back and frowned. “Now?? But… what about you?”

“I’m fine,” Soubi reassured him. 

It was a lie, of course; he was in absolute agony. 

“Shall I carry you to the bed or can you make it on your own?” 

Ritsuka scowled, causing Soubi to grin again. “I can walk,” he muttered. 

“Good. I love you, Ritsuka.”

Soubi could see relief bloom on the teen’s face and once again felt a tug in the part of his heart that he’d fought so hard to preserve from the torment of Ritsu and Seimei. But it was already too late, much too late, to pay it any mind. 

*****

This time, Seimei had graciously decided to forego the bondage.

Sometimes, it was simply enough for him to have Soubi just stand there in one spot, with his head down. There were times in the past when Soubi would stand there for hours on end while Seimei sat and watched him. Sometimes--very rarely--he would be forgiving and let Soubi leave with only a sore neck. Other times, those stationary moments were merely a precursor of whatever perverted festivities the elder Aoyagi brother had in mind. 

Soubi stared at the ground, having long since memorized every inch of it. Seimei stood directly in front of him and Soubi found himself yet again with a range of warring emotions, each dueling for dominance in his heart and body… and to his own disgust, he discovered that lust was quickly winning out over the rest.

He wanted Seimei. He had always wanted Seimei. As much as the Sacrifice owned him, Soubi had wanted to own him in return. His desire to take Seimei’s ears had nothing at all to do with love, although there was love there--a twisted, demented love that bordered on something much darker.  Deadlier. Before Ritsuka came into his life, this obsessive love/hate was all he had ever known. 

Perhaps those rare moments of clarity and lucidity were the true sickness. Now that Seimei had come back to him, Soubi no longer knew for sure. 

The Sacrifice tenderly, almost lovingly, swept back Soubi’s hair, tucking a lock behind each ear to keep it out of his face. He then leaned forward and grazed his nose against Soubi’s lips, breathing them in. Soubi squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his teeth in anticipation and fear--and want--of what he knew would happen next.

“Open your mouth,” Seimei commanded.

Soubi parted his lips slightly. He felt a hand brace each side of his face and pull him down. Seimei’s tongue flickered just inside of Soubi’s mouth before probing deeper, tasting the remnants of what had been there earlier.

He finally broke away and Soubi collapsed to his knees, trembling violently. There was no way, no way on earth that he would be able to stand again until the pressure that had been building inside of him for the past week subsided. He would have gladly welcomed any punishment that would take his mind away from the maddening ache of being denied gratification. 

But instead of a reprimand, he was met with a hand that rested on top of his head.

“I’m sorry, Soubi. I know this must have been very painful for you.” 

The young man’s voice was so full of compassion that it was almost impossible to believe it belonged to the same person who had so casually ordered the murder of his own mother. 

“I needed to know that I was still first in your heart. I’m a very insecure person, you see.” Seimei reached down and cupped Soubi’s chin in his hand, pulling his face upward. “You’ve made me very happy.” He let go and walked toward the door. “More importantly, the time has come.”

Soubi gazed questioningly at his master, but was not quite yet in a position to speak.

“I didn’t come back just to watch you play with Ritsuka. We have work to do. And I’ve decided that Breathless will be first.”

“First?” Soubi croaked.

“We’re going to kill them.” Seimei smiled sweetly. “We’re going to kill them all.”

 

  

_I know my soul is under siege_   
_Can't somebody stop me now_   
_’cause I'm losing control_   
_I want to resist - but I can't hold it back_   
_The beast is unleashed - it's got to attack_   
_Again and again the force is too strong_   
_It's breaching the chains_

_“The Beast Inside” by Accept_


	5. Bonus - Serenity in Murder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A brief bit of bonus content that reveals exactly what happened to Misaki on that night, and why Soubi can still look Ritsuka in the eyes the next day.

Soubi stared into the window of his destination. He’d first come to this house as a teenager, on a clear and starry night not unlike this one. Waiting, longing for the boy inside to love him. The only boy who had mattered… at that time.

“Seimei.” 

The name tasted like death in his mouth. It was not something he could have ever differentiated before, because it was the only thing that he’d ever known. But now, now that he’d known a glimpse of what life could be because of his time with Ritsuka, the name that had been his only reason for existing now revolted him. 

Yet, he still found that he didn’t want to… no… he couldn’t live without it. He simply couldn’t.

_You’re hesitating, Soubi._

And so he was. The small, secluded part of his psyche that still clung to humanity cried out to him, begging him to stop, and for a moment, Soubi actually believed he had the choice to do so.

_If you don’t do this, you know what you’ll have to do instead, don’t you?_

Yes, he knew. And the possibility that he would ever be instructed to do such a thing was the only reason he was able to will himself to move forward. He leaned closer to the window and peered inside at the woman who had given birth to the two most important people in his life.

Misaki was pacing frantically around the living room, wringing her hands together and muttering to herself. Soubi had no general feeling toward her one way or the other. Then again, the same could be said for most human beings he confronted on a daily basis. He recalled the times that he had offered to deal with her when she would pound relentlessly on Ritsuka’s bedroom door and yes, he would have gladly taken care of her if it had been Ritsuka’s wish. But such a thing would have hurt the fragile-spirited boy. Soubi himself did not understand such parental devotion, having been snatched away from his at such a young age. The only thing he knew for certain was that hurting Ritsuka was an impossible option.

At least, it had been. Yet here he was, about to do that very thing.

Because Seimei’s alternative was…

The small, faint voice called out to him again, and Soubi cut it short with disturbing ease. 

“I am the face of the one who holds your heart… the one whom you love the most,” he began, slipping back into wordspell as if it had only been moments, as opposed to years, since he’d had to use it. He felt his power, strong and unyielding, flowing in and around him like a current. Although Beloved’s reputation was the stuff of legend, Soubi knew that none of them, perhaps not even Ritsu or Seimei themselves, were aware of the true and frightening depth of his capabilities.

His words wielded a power that was so tremendous that they could have quite possibly split the earth in two, if he’d had any will of his own to do so. 

Soubi stepped away from the window and walked to the door. With no further objections from his subconscious to distract him, he slowly turned the handle and entered the house. 

*****

“S-Sei-Seimei?” Misaki Aoyagi stared into the face of her firstborn son. Thoughts of her second child quickly faded into nothingness. “Seimei? Is that… you?”

“Mother,” Seimei replied blankly. 

Misaki’s eyes filled with tears of joy. She broke out of her shocked paralysis and sprinted over to him, sweeping him into her arms and covering his face in kisses and tears.

“Oh, Seimei! Oh, my son… my baby… I knew you would come back to me!” she cried out between sobs. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Misaki tightened her hold around the teen’s neck, too caught up in her own rapture to notice the way he did not return her embrace.

*****

Soubi patiently accepted the affection that Ritsuka’s mother showered upon him. It was a bit of a nuisance, like the insistent buzzing of a very large insect. Nothing more.   

He wanted to go home. He wanted to feel that warm body curl into his own. He wanted to be free from Seimei’s voice, even if it was just for the rest of this night. And so…

“Incapacitate.”

The body draped around him immediately became stiff, unmoving. Soubi gently placed Misaki’s arms at her sides and stared into her frozen face. Her eyes moved around wildly and her mouth twitched as she tried to call Seimei’s name. He leaned forward, whispering death in her ears. It was a spell he’d only done once before, at his master’s behest, on a poor, unsuspecting stray dog that had the misfortune of wandering into Seimei’s path. At the time, even the twisted young Sacrifice had displayed a rare moment of horror at the gruesome ferocity of Soubi’s spell… before clapping his hands and laughing gleefully.

Soubi moved away from the struggling woman and stood across the room, at a distance in which he was fairly certain he would not get… hit. He turned to look at her, noting the way that blood now steadily streamed from her eyes, replacing the tears she so happily shed just a moment before. It also ran from her ears, nose, and mouth as well as, Soubi suspected, every other orifice on her body. Bubbling, gurgling noises emanated from her throat and she began to twitch as the tremors that wracked her body were suppressed by Soubi’s incapacitation spell. 

_Finish it, Soubi._

As if he had any other choice. To stop now would render the woman a useless, brain dead shell for the rest of her natural life. 

He opened his mouth and spoke softly, in the voice that made Ritsuka’s heart soar more than he would ever know. 

“Your flesh cannot contain you.”

Turning his head away did nothing to silence the indescribably grotesque sound of the implosion of liquid and flesh and bone that met his ears. He heard unidentifiable gobs splatter onto the carpet in a rainfall of bloody, wet thumps. He felt droplets of blood splatter against his face and absentmindedly wiped them away.

It was finished.

For now. 

Soubi quietly left the house.

*****

He stared up at the sky. The stars twinkled brightly. His mind turned again to the one sleeping in his bed, waiting for him to come home. 

He’d taken Ritsuka’s ears and murdered his mother, all in one night. It didn’t seem possible that Soubi could ever face him again after doing such a thing. 

But he would. 

He _had_ to.

Because if he didn’t…

_If Ritsuka ever suspects… if he ever finds out… then I will have you kill him, Soubi. I will have you kill my little brother._

Soubi closed his eyes as a soft breeze washed over his face and caused his hair to flutter lazily in the wind. After a moment, he opened them and began walking down the street, letting the cruel yet soothing voice of his master guide him home. 

 

  

_Let me take you down without a sound_  
_Dead before you hit the ground_  
_Peaceful and serene, slowly bleeding_  
_Eyes once bright now are fading…_

_“Serenity in Murder” by Slayer_


	6. Broken

“Soubi?”

Ritsuka was answered by the sound of a flushing toilet. The teen heaved a sigh of relief and stepped back as the door to the bathroom opened.

“Are you okay?” he asked. It wasn’t normally like him to question his boyfriend’s bathroom usage, but that the older man had come home and immediately barricaded himself in there was cause enough for concern.

Soubi slowly unfolded his glasses and slid them on, enhancing his already amazing blue eyes. He smiled warmly at his… _beloved_ … and stepped out of the room. 

“I felt a bit sick to my stomach. I didn’t mean to worry you.” 

“Do you need me to get you anything?” 

Soubi looked down into Ritsuka’s innocent and expectant eyes and felt as if he might get sick to his stomach, this time, in truth.

He had come home from his rendezvous with Seimei and headed straight into the bathroom because he could no longer hold back the gratification that he’d been purposely denied for the better part of two weeks now. A deep, throbbing pain had settled into his groin since Seimei’s… kiss, and Soubi was amazed that he had been able to stand upright, let alone walk. 

After a cursory greeting to Ritsuka and locking himself in the cramped room, Soubi had pulled down his pants and masturbated twice, frantically working himself to a thundering explosion both times, clenching his teeth and breathing harshly through his nose. He knew it would have been easier just to go ahead and have sex with Ritsuka. The boy had never denied him such a thing, and Soubi was somewhat positive he never would. 

But what he had wanted, what he had envisioned with each stroke of his hand, was something else entirely. 

Visions of Seimei… fucking him… biting him… hurting him... making him scream… pulling his hair… taking his ears… rough, dirty, and vicious things...  Those were the thoughts that urged him on each time he spilled into his own hand, the culmination of a near lifetime of demented and mangled fantasies of his master, of owning Seimei’s body as much as the Sacrifice owned his soul.

No. Ritsuka had no place at all in such madness.

“I’m fine. Thank you.” Soubi kissed his forehead, noting the way the teen leaned into his touch.

“Then I’m going to finish my homework,” Ritsuka said, motioning over at the bed where his books were spread across the blanket. 

“Would it bother you if I painted?” Soubi asked. He didn’t want to trouble him, nor did he want to be out of his presence at the moment. 

Ritsuka shook his head. A faint pink glow surfaced on his cheeks and Soubi felt that… thing… again. That voice. Mocking him, teasing him… leading him to believe that it was possible to change, to be real again. Whole again. Human. Again.

_How we lie_ , he mused sadly.  _Even to ourselves._

*****

“Come on, Midori!”

Ai impatiently tapped her foot while waiting for--

_My boyfriend. He’s my boyfriend now, not just my Sacrifice._

\--Midori to catch up to her. A look of love and adoration blossomed on her face as she watched him jogging toward her. His green hair was longer now, longer than her own, in fact, and it bounced up and down with each step. 

Although they both still had their ears, it was a foregone, if unspoken, conclusion that they would soon give themselves to the other. It seemed only right, after all, that the name that tied them since before they were born would lead to this new, romantic type of bond that did not hinge on anything other than the love between them.

Ai often wondered if the other pairs had ended up in such away since the days of battles were long gone. Though she was uncertain if the Zero teams were even capable of such feelings, she thought Kinka and Ginka might have shared a similar progression of their relationship. 

And then there was… Loveless.

Even all these years later, Ai was somewhat miffed at Soubi’s audacity in taking a new name. If Fighters and Sacrifices could switch so effortlessly, if their predestined bond was actually optional, then what did that say about her love for Midori?

“Ai,” Midori panted slightly, finally catching up to her. The teens automatically linked hands as they began walking together; it was as natural to them as breathing.

They veered off the path of the main road that led to Ai’s house, taking their usual scenic shortcut through a wooded area so they would not have to part so soon. 

Two young people in love, without so much as a care in the world.

And oblivious to the grave danger that awaited them just up ahead.

*****

“See you later, Ritsuka!” Yuiko frantically waved at him with one arm while the other was firmly linked through Yayoi’s. 

Ritsuka watched them with mild amusement as they went on their merry way. All of these years later, their union still never ceased to humor him. Even though she had loved him first, Ritsuka had always known that Yuiko and Yayoi would end up together. Everyone knew, it seemed, except for the two of them.

He resumed walking on his own, debating over whether or not to stop and pick up something for dinner. Soubi would be home late tonight as he had evening classes today and Ritsuka knew that his own culinary prowess did not even begin to compare to Soubi’s, although the older man always ate his misguided efforts with a smile. It was just like him to do that; to Soubi, Ritsuka could simply do no wrong. 

Soubi loved him. Completely. 

Secure in this knowledge, Ritsuka smiled to himself and lazily kicked at a fallen leaf in his path. The gnawing suspicions he’d hated himself for having now like some long ago nightmare he could barely recall.

*****

Soubi saw them walking toward him, still oblivious to his presence. Five years had done very little to change them, he observed. They were a little taller, and their hair was longer, but they still had not only their ears, but the same general air of innocence and naiveté that had been so resoundingly apparent during their battles. 

_Brats with ears._

He shut out the memory of his taunt, back when he and Ritsuka…

Soubi sighed. The small voice of reason was still there, but was, he noted with faint concern, a bit more muted than it had been before. He didn’t care to think about the meaning of such things. Besides, Seimei’s orders had always been easier to follow without the pleading of his subconscious to hinder him.

He slowly stepped into the pathway as they approached, the scar of Beloved emblazoned upon him for all to see, careful to keep in mind the reason behind what he was about to do.

*****

It was the girl, Ai, who spotted him first, stopping in her tracks with a look of shock. Her partner, Midori, took a few more steps before being pulled to a halt. 

“Ai? What’s wrong?”

The young teen followed Ai’s gaze and saw Soubi. His eyes widened and he took an involuntary step backward.

“S-Soubi!” Midori exclaimed, tightening his grip on Ai’s hand. “What are you doing here?”

Ai’s fear-enhanced gasp was answer enough as Seimei emerged out of the shadows and took his place at Soubi’s side. 

“Hello, Breathless.” The Sacrifice’s warm smile didn’t come close to touching his eyes.

“Seimei.” The name fell from Ai's mouth like a harsh blow. 

“But y-you died!” Midori took another step back, pulling Ai along with him. 

“I did?” Seimei asked with a wicked grin. He stepped forward and placed a firm hand on his Fighter’s shoulder. 

“I thought… didn’t you… what about Loveless?” Ai demanded. “Where’s Ritsuka?”

_Ritsuka…_

“Soubi.” Seimei’s voice was quiet. Absolute.

Soubi outstretched his right hand, ignoring the combined look of horror on the faces of Breathless. “Battle system… initiate.”

The atmosphere surrounding them became thicker, denser, as the alternate fighting dimension employed by their kind cloaked them. 

“A fight?” Ai managed. 

“Silly child,” Seimei said softly. “We’re not here to fight.”

Midori yanked firmly on Ai’s hand as the truth of Seimei’s words hit him. “Ai, let’s go!”

The teens turned and ran in the opposite direction--

“The walls are impenetrable. You cannot escape.”

\--directly into the invisible barrier of Soubi’s spell. They kicked and punched in a desperate attempt to move forward, to no avail. Ai whimpered in fear; at her best, she had never been a match for Soubi, even when his power was halved as Loveless.

And now, as Beloved? His rightful name, his rightful Sacrifice? Impossible.

Even if it hadn’t been years since they’d last engaged in battle, to stand up against Beloved was unimaginable. 

“You can’t fight him, Ai,” Midori said, echoing her thoughts as any true soul mate would. He did his best imitation of a brave face for her comfort. “Listen to me. We’re more than Breathless now. We’re Midori and Ai. And I will protect you.”

A small frown, unseen by his master, creased Soubi’s brow at the sound of Midori’s promise. Not because of its futility, but because it was a promise he’d once made himself.

_I’ll protect you. I’ll do anything for you, Ritsuka._

“Prove him wrong, Soubi,” Seimei said, gently squeezing his shoulder before moving his hand away. “Make it pretty.” 

Midori turned to face the two older men, using his body as a shield between them and Ai. “Don’t you touch her!” he cried out, his obvious fear effectively diminishing his intended menace.

“Midori is powerless to save you, Ai,” Soubi began, ignoring the teen’s shouts of denial. “You are all alone.”

“Midori, I’m scared,” Ai moaned.

“LEAVE HER ALONE!” Midori screamed.

“One thousand blades, raining down from heaven upon you.”

Ai gripped onto Midori’s shirt, burying her face in his back. “Midori?”

Midori glanced upward as the sky opened, rendering an onslaught of death that blazed toward them. He quickly turned and held Ai in his arms, blanketing her with his body as much as he could.

“There is no one here to protect you.”

_“Midori-!!”_

Midori squeezed his eyes shut, tensing himself for the blow… and instead, felt the body of the girl he loved jerk violently in his arms as the rapid shower of unforgivably sharp blades passed through him, penetrating her back, her neck, and her skull, tearing through every inch of her flesh and killing her instantly.

_“NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”_

Midori’s heart-wrenching scream dissolved into a frenzy of sobs as he sank down to the ground and cradled the bloody and lifeless body of his Fighter, his girlfriend, his _everything_ in his arms, his face bathed in a cruel mixture of her blood and his tears. 

Soubi raised his hand once more, shutting out the sound of the boy’s heartache.   He needed to end this now, for his own warped sanity, if nothing else.

“Lightning...”

“Wait, Soubi,” Seimei ordered. He watched Midori’s torment with keen interest. “Not yet. I’d like to hear him cry just a little bit longer.”

 The Fighter obediently lowered his hand…

_Ritsuka._

… and waited for his master’s instruction,  more aware than ever that there would soon, very soon, come a time when even the mere thought of the boy’s name would no longer be enough to comfort him.

*****

“Natsuo!”

Youji bounded into the bedroom that they shared with a look of concern. 

“Yeah. I felt it too.” The Zero Fighter walked over to his Sacrifice and took him by the hand.

In the years since they had first made their presence felt, the two boys with a penchant for their own playful violence had evolved into mature young men. Like the female Zero that preceded them, Natsuo and Youji finally broke away from Nagisa’s stranglehold and built a life for themselves as normal teens… well, as normal as possible. Like any disease or disorder, their inability to feel pain was a detriment that they would have to live with the rest of their lives and they were both careful to look after one another. Like Breathless, their relationship had progressed naturally into one of undying love and devotion.

But unlike Breathless, the now older Zero pair were most decidedly earless. In that regard, they simply couldn’t get enough of one another.

“Why would anybody be battling now? What’s the point of it anymore?”

Natsuo shrugged and frowned. “I don’t know. All I know is that there’s only one Fighter strong enough to have a radius like that.”

Youji shook his head, unwilling to accept what he already knew to be true. “Loveless was never _that_ strong.”

“But Beloved was.”

“Shit.” Youji ran a nervous hand through his long hair. “Do you think Ritsuka’s alright?”

 “Only one way to know for sure. It’s up to you, Youji.”

Youji bit his bottom lip and looked away in consideration. Since the boys had been on their own, they had been very careful not to rush headlong into conflict. Youji himself remembered all too well the hypothermia, the burns, all suffered because they’d had absolutely no idea of the danger they faced until it was too late. 

During those times, when their master had forsaken them, it was Soubi who saved them from themselves. It was a debt they had never, and quite possibly could never, repay. If either Soubi or Ritsuka were in danger in any way, then this was their obligation.

He sighed and nodded in resignation. 

“Let’s go,” he said. 

*****

_Something’s wrong._

Ritsuka pushed away his uneaten dinner and stood up. He paced around the small apartment, unable to shake the growing feeling of--

_doom_

\--discomfort in his chest. 

“It’s nothing,” he whispered to the empty room. The words did little to soothe him. 

He glanced at the clock. Soubi would be home in about an hour. And then everything would be alright.

“It’s nothing,” he said again, louder, with more affirmation.

Everything was going to be alright.

*****

Soubi hunched over on his knees, struggling against the urge to vomit as his body revolted against him in a way that his subconscious never could. The bodies of two dead teens lay just feet away, the nauseatingly acrid smell of blood and burnt flesh hovered in the air around him. 

“Stand up, Soubi.”

He knew he should obey; he wanted to obey. But his body simply would not allow it. So instead, he waited patiently for correction.

And once again, to the undoing of his comprehension, he felt a loving hand settle on top of his head, stroking his long blond hair with gentleness and care. Broken by that one small act alone, the Fighter bit back a moan as he pressed his head into Seimei’s tender touch, wanting it, despising it, needing it, loathing it, and craving it like nothing else in the world.

“Go home, Soubi,” Seimei said. “I’ll take care of this mess. Go home to my brother.”

Soubi risked a questioning glance at his master, uncertain of what he just heard. Seimei smiled and nodded in reassurance. “Come on,” he said, holding out his hand. 

The hand that had just called forth such terrifying power now trembled as it grabbed onto Seimei’s. The Sacrifice pulled him up and stared into his eyes, smiling all the while. 

“You did well, Soubi. I’m very happy. Now go home and rest.”

Soubi closed his eyes and bowed his head. 

“Yes, master,” he whispered gratefully, unaware of the look of cold, calculated victory on Seimei’s face now that his eyes were not on him.

*****

Seimei wiped his hands on his pants. He still despised the touch of others--save for one--and he needed to wash them badly.  But he couldn't just yet.

It was too much, too soon. He knew that. Seimei was actually quite surprised that Soubi didn’t crack after killing Misaki. But if he didn’t slow down, it was only a matter of time until he did. 

Seimei wanted to kill them all, more than anything else aside from being with Ritsuka. But his desire meant nothing if his Fighter was useless. So he would give Soubi some time. Time to recover, time to… play. The idea of Soubi playing with Ritsuka caused a stirring between his legs that he would most definitely attend to later that night.   

But as for now…

He looked down at the bodies of Breathless as if they were nothing more than piles of trash to be disposed of. Which, to him, was exactly what they were.

It had gone very well, indeed. Soubi’s power was, Seimei had to admit, phenomenal. He dared to dream that this was going to be easier than he had initially suspected.

Picking them off, one by one, until he reached his final target. And then…

Seimei began to smile. This time, it wasn’t sweet and it wasn’t kind. It was pure insanity.

“Sleepless,” he said to himself. “I think Sleepless will be next.”

With that confirmed, Seimei turned to the… trash… lying on the ground with a look of disgust. What a wonderful master he was, doing the dirty work for his distraught slave. 

Soubi was quite fortunate, really, to have a Sacrifice so loyal and selfless. 

*****

The man had been staring blindly at the monitor for the last hour. Finally, he reached forward and switched it off. 

“So… it’s begun. The beginning of the end.”

Ritsu Minami leaned back into his chair and began considering his options. None of them, none at all, boded well for the one he loved the most.

But considering he was the one who delivered his most prized possession into the hands of the devil, he would try.

For Soubi’s sake, for Soubi's life, he would try.  Even if it killed him.

It was the least he could do. 

 

 

_It's hard to change what's in front of me_   
_It's hard to find anything real…_   
_I never wanted to be_   
_So lonely, so hopeless_   
_I'm broken_

_“Broken” by Modern Day Zero_


	7. Save Me

Kio gnawed on the dwindling bud of a lollipop and gazed around the roomful of bustling graduate students. Then he frowned. It wasn’t like Soubi to miss a class. He had always been faithful to his studies, without fail… except when that bastard Aoyagi was alive.

The blond tugged nervously on one of his many earrings, thinking it wouldn’t be a bad idea at all to swing by Soubi's apartment later that night.

*****

“Natsuo? Youji?”

“Oi, Ritsuka!” Natsuo cheerfully barged past the stunned teen into the small apartment with his partner in tow. Indeed, years of maturation had done very little for their social graces.  "Look, Youji.   _Somebody_  lost their ears."

“What are you doing here?” Ritsuka asked, closing the door and watching as the duo made themselves at home as if it had been days, instead of  _years_ , since they had last been there.

“We need a reason to stop by and say hello?” Youji asked. He curled his feet beneath him on the chair that Ritsuka had been occupying while Natsuo plopped down on the floor in front of him.

 “Well… no… but…”

“So here we are!” Natsuo interrupted gleefully. 

“Uh… okay.” Ritsuka took a seat on the floor by the door, staring at both of his surprise guests without the slightest clue what to say. One minute into the conversation and he could already clearly see how the boys had evolved over the years, but yet still somehow remained the same mischievous pair that had taken such pleasure in tormenting him endlessly; it was a most surreal sensation, this impromptu meeting of past and present.

“Where’s Soubi?” Youji asked, reaching forward and twirling a lock of Natsuo’s hair. 

“He has class right now.”

Although Natsuo and Youji were not facing one another, Ritsuka got a very clear, very distinct feeling that something had just passed between them. He supposed it was always that way between Fighter and Sacrifice, even when those titles ceased to have any meaning. It hadn’t been much different for him and Soubi; even though the strength of their bond had often left much to be desired, they had always managed to maintain something of a connection. Although lately…

“Are you living here now?” Natsuo asked, peering inquisitively at Ritsuka through his left eye. 

“Yeah,” the teen replied, rubbing his arms and looking away uncomfortably.

“Wow,” Youji observed. “Your mom’s okay with that?”

“Can’t imagine she is, the way she used to beat on you,” Natsuo added.  
  
"Oh yeah," Youji said.  "She was pretty bad, wasn't she?"  
  
Natsuo nodded.  "I was always surprised that Soubi didn't hurt her for messing with you."  
  
Youji peered at Ritsuka through squinted eyes.  "She really doesn't have a problem with you living with an older man?"  
  
Natsuo piped in with,  "And a perverted masochist on top of it."

“She’s  _dead_ ,” Ritsuka blurted angrily.  "That's why I'm living here."  
  
"... Oh."  
  
"When?" Youji asked.  
  
“She died a little while ago.  And I don’t want to talk about it.”

“…Alright.”

The green-haired teen stopped twirling Natsuo’s hair and the two of them stared silently at Ritsuka, causing him to grow even more uneasy. And yet again, he sensed that unseen, unspoken communication pass between them. What in the world was going on?

“Drink?” he offered, remembering his manners and grateful for the opportunity to change the subject.

“Yeah, sure,” Natsuo replied as Youji nodded.

Ritsuka got up and walked over to the refrigerator, grabbing two bottles of Ramune which, he remembered, they could not seem to get enough of when they’d stayed with Soubi before.  

“So the two of you just happened to be in the neighborhood or what?” he asked, handing them the drinks. 

“Well…” Youji started, handing Natsuo his bottle. "You see..."

“Have you felt anything weird going on?” Natsuo asked, never one to shy away from getting right to the point. He opened Youji’s bottle and handed it to him before attending to his own.

Ritsuka regarded the pair suspiciously. “Weird? Weird how?”

Natsuo shrugged casually and took a sip of the strawberry-flavored soda. “Like... I don't know... other teams… battles…”

“Fighter units,” Youji added, tapping a slender finger against the top of his bottle. “Have you… or Soubi… sensed anything like that?”

“No,” Ritsuka answered to the best of his knowledge. Why would they even ask him that?  The strange sensations he’d been feeling as of late had nothing to do with any of those long ago and far away things. His own concerns about Soubi’s odd behavior had nothing to do with any of that.

... Or did it?  
  
His mind was bombarded with a slew of recent memories, curious statements made by Soubi to reassure Ritsuka that all was well.

_I’m going to go… and pick up some of your things._  

_I’ll be right back._  
  
_My phone must have died._

_I have some work I want to get done before it’s too late.  
_  
_I’m very sorry that I worried you._  
  
Ritsuka gasped as his mind fought furiously to put together what his heart refused to comprehend. 

_No. No, no, no._

Even through one eye, Natsuo was quick to notice the change in his expression. “What? What is it, Ritsuka?”

“Did you think of something?” Youji asked, carefully scanning his face for any sign of reaction. 

“What the hell is going on?” Ritsuka asked, turning the interrogation around on them.  _“_ Why are you really here?”

Seconds spun into minutes as the three teens stared at each another. Ritsuka staunchly refused to speak again until one of them answered him. Finally, Natsuo spoke up. 

“We don’t  _know_  what’s going on,” he began.

“ _That’s_  why we’re here,” Youji finished. 

Ritsuka was deeply unsettled by their uncertainty.  The still, small voice inside of him, the one that unequivocally denied that anything was wrong with the way things had been the past few weeks, rose up and tried to silence him. It didn't work.

“Tell me whatever you can,” he said worriedly, unable to ignore the feeling of…  _finality_  in his request.  _"Please."_

More silence filled the room.  Natsuo tilted his head back until it was resting in Youji’s lap. He looked up at his Sacrifice, who gently stroked the hair from his forehead and nodded in permission and encouragement.

“Ritsuka,” he said, raising his head to meet the young man's eyes.   
  
"What?" Ritsuka looked back and forth between the two Zero, vaguely noticing for the first time that they were without their own ears.  "What  _is it?_ "  
  
Natsuo set the bottle of Ramune down on the floor and folded his hands in his lap.  He let out a long, slow sigh and proceeded to ask Ritsuka the one thing that he least expected, the one thing that would mark the beginning of a series of events that would change his life forever:

“How positive are you that Seimei actually died?”

*****

“My father, if you want to call him that, is going to sell this house.”  

Seimei stretched his long, lean body across the bed that had once belonged to his younger brother, reliving the countless times that they had shared it. Playing, hugging, snuggling, limbs intertwined beneath those very sheets, petting Ritsuka’s adorable head, stroking his tail, lighthearted pinches, tickles… and touches. 

“Those are the moments I miss the most, being here with him,” he said, his hands clasped together behind his head, sinking into the pillow underneath. “But I guess I don’t have to tell you that, do I?”

His cold eyes left the ceiling and moved to the figure standing dutifully in the corner, motionless and speechless for the past hour. A surge of distaste ran through him at the sight of the pathetic creature and he had an almost overwhelming desire to…  _hurt_  him in some way. His mind flipped through dozens of enticing options. There was always the knife, his preferred method. There were other equally exciting ways as well, but he couldn’t. At least, not yet. Not until Soubi had done everything he needed him to do to achieve his goal. 

Still, that wasn’t to say he couldn’t have some fun in the meantime. 

The deranged young psychopath moved his right hand from behind his head and began to slowly rub his chest. “I used to sneak in here at night when he was asleep,” he said, pausing to pinch his nipples through his shirt, moaning softly and keeping his eyes trained on Soubi. “Look at me,” he commanded.

Seimei smiled at the frown that crossed the Fighter’s face before raising his blue eyes to meet his. His smile grew even more at the look of dread directed at him. No one he had ever known suffered as beautifully as Soubi. That was reason enough to keep him around for a little while, if nothing else. 

“He always looked so precious,” Seimei continued, lowering his hand past his stomach to grab his crotch, rubbing himself into a quick and urgent hardness. “I guess I don’t have to tell you that, either--”

The chiming text alert of Soubi’s cell phone interrupted Seimei, much to his irritation, until he considered that the sender was most likely his…  _beloved_  little brother.  

Well, that would just make things all the more interesting, wouldn’t it?

“Go ahead,” he said, putting aside his own need for the moment, praising himself once again for his selflessness. 

With trembling fingers, Soubi pulled out his cell phone. He winced as he glanced at it and Seimei was convinced that his suspicion was correct.

“How sweet,” he murmured, fondling himself through his pants. “What does he want?”

A frown formed on the Fighter’s face as he read the text message, grateful for any opportunity to avert his eyes from his master. “He wants me to come home,” Soubi told him.

Seimei cocked his head in curiosity. “Doesn’t he know you’re ‘in class’ right now?”

“Yes.” The frown deepened. “Something is wrong.”

With a deep, disappointed sigh, Seimei let go of his erection and sat up. He knew that it could not have been a life-threatening emergency for Ritsuka to have simply sent a text. How much fun would it have been if he had called instead? To make Soubi have a conversation with Ritsuka while he masturbated in front of him?   Using him as a conduit to do other things… things he’d long dreamt of doing… things he’d still like to do one day.

The corner of Seimei’s mouth curved in a wicked half-smile as he filed that particular idea away for future use. But for now...

“Go home,” he instructed.

“Thank you,” Soubi spoke in a voice that was barely above a whisper, humbly lowering his head before taking his leave. Seimei’s dark gaze followed him out of the room. He had felt a brief spark of jealousy at Soubi’s response, seeing how the Fighter’s attention was clearly divided between him and his brother.

But he also understood. He wasn’t a  _complete_  monster, after all. Ritsuka was irresistible. He had known that more than anyone in the time they’d had together before he “died” such a horrible death. 

_Soon, Ritsuka._

Once he had achieved his goal. Once all of his enemies had been eliminated. Once he could fashion a life for the two of them, the only two people who mattered, who _existed_.

Seimei sighed again and ran a hand through his thick, black hair, pausing briefly to rub his ears--a most sensitive part of his body that sent a shiver throughout him. 

_Not soon enough._

It seemed he might have to put Soubi back to work ahead of schedule.

*****

_We felt power._

_Big power._

_There’s only ever been one team capable of that kind of power._

Ritsuka paced around the apartment, Natsuo and Youji’s words echoing in his mind in a deafening mantra, consumed with fear and dread.

It was impossible, of course. Absolutely, positively impossible. Even if Soubi was into something… bad… there was just no way that Seimei was alive. He died in a fire, his body burned almost beyond recognition. Period.

But--

_No._

\--what if--

_NO!_

That would be… too much. That his own brother would have deliberately lied to him for all of those years…

Ritsuka pressed his hands to his temples and shut his eyes tightly, unaware of the small whimper that escaped him. He felt the surreal sensation of his departed ears and tail, twitching frantically as they had always done whenever he was nervous or excited. 

_Soubi! Quit nibbling my ears!_

He clenched his teeth and tried desperately to push away the memory of sitting in his lap… his arms wrapped tightly around him… his smile… his laughter. There was no joy, no comfort in recalling it now. It felt more as if his heart and mind were eulogizing the man he had come to love more than anything else. And that terrified him even more.

He felt the sting of tears behind his eyes and squeezed them tighter. “Soubi...”

“Ritsuka!” 

The teen had been too lost in his terror to hear the door open. His eyes flew open and his heart lurched at the sight of Soubi in the doorway.   

“What’s wrong?” he asked, stepping quickly into the room and grabbing Ritsuka by the forearms. “Ritsuka, what’s wrong?”

“Soubi,” Ritsuka started, searching for the truth in the older man’s eyes. “N-Natsuo and Youji… they were here a little while ago.”

Upon hearing the name of the two Zero, Soubi’s arms fell down to his side, something that did not ease Ritsuka’s heart in the least.

_“_ Soubi _, what have you done?”_

*****

Seimei straightened the sheets on Ritsuka’s bed and knelt down beside it, staring at the same blanket he had wrapped himself in many, many times before, feeling a calm sense of nostalgia. He reached out and ran his hand along it, smiling softly over the countless memories it brought to him.

It wasn’t that he would miss the house. He couldn't have cared less about it. His home was with Ritsuka, wherever that might be. 

Something was indeed wrong. Something irreparable, perhaps. He sensed it moments ago, and the feeling had only grown stronger since. 

And now there was something else as well.

The hand that caressed the comforter stopped moving. 

“I thought you might come,”Seimei said.

He turned to the doorway and smiled.

“It’s been awhile… Ritsu.”

*****

“Ritsuka, if there is something… happening… then it has nothing to do with me.”

Soubi hated to lie to him. It most certainly was not the first time he had ever done so--at the beginning of their remarkable journey together, he had done it quite a few times. But this…

He had killed his mother.

He had killed Breathless.  
  
And he would kill again. 

All at the request of the brother he believed to be dead.

The inconceivable severity of these lies _far_  outweighed the times he’d mislead the boy and crept away to fight without him. He was disgusted with himself, torn, completely undone by the ease with which soothing, reassuring words fell from his lips. Had it been anyone else, he would not have cared. But to do this to the one person he loved more than--

_Seimei_

\--anyone… the one person, the  _only_  person, who had been able to help him reclaim a small, minute part of his ravaged psyche…

“I’ll be happy to work with those brats if it means getting to the bottom of this,” he insisted, stroking the teen’s hair out of his face and swallowing hard, fighting back the urge to vomit.

“You… you promise?” 

Soubi closed his eyes. His mouth turned up in a grimace that he hoped would at least somewhat pass as a smile. 

It was too much.

Hurting Ritsuka like this… it was entirely too much. And he just couldn’t live with himself if he had to do it any longer.

Thinking freely and clearly for the first time since…  _forever_ , it seemed… Soubi made a decision.

“Of course,” he said softly. He opened his eyes and cupped Ritsuka’s face in his hands, smiling warmly at him. 

It was the last lie he would ever tell him.

*****

Seimei turned to Ritsuka’s bedroom window and tilted his head as if listening. A very small, very slight frown passed over his angelic features. “Interesting.”

“What?”

The young man turned back to Ritsu and smiled. “Oh, nothing,” he said, taking a seat on the bed and gazing into the older Sacrifice’s eyes. “So, what is this drivel about letting go of Soubi?”

“Exactly what I said,” Ritsu remarked, glaring at Seimei. “Whatever your plans are, leave him out of it.”

Seimei laughed, a pleasant sound that belied the evil and insanity behind it. “That’s an awfully silly thing to ask,” he said, chiding the man as if he were the younger party. “Soubi’s my Fighter. You may as well ask me to give up half of my body.”

“You are nothing but a sick, depraved, self-serving monster, Seimei. Do you truly expect me to believe you look at him as anything other than a dog?” Ritsu took a step into the room. “Your sentiments toward him  _never_  went beyond that.” 

“And yours did? Correct me if I’m wrong, Sensei, but I’m not the one who stole his teenage ears, am I?” Seimei grinned and shook his head. “You call  _me_  a monster? That’s quite ironic coming from a child molester.”

Ignoring the young man's truthful jab, Ritsu took another step into the room. “You  _will_  leave Soubi alone,” he warned. “Let him salvage whatever is left of the damage that _both of us_ have caused him. Let him have a life with your brother.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” Seimei said with mock regret. “Besides, even if I wanted to…”

He gazed toward the window again. 

“It seems as if I no longer have a say in the matter.”

*****

After love was over, Soubi stood patiently as Ritsuka finished in the bathroom. The shower had stopped running a few minutes ago.

He could still feel him, his small but strong arms wrapped around his neck, his legs wrapped high around his waist, his lips, his tongue, his warmth, inside and out. Every kiss, every thrust, every gasp, every scream, lingering on each of his senses and imprinting themselves on his heart. Everything, all at once, one last time.

“I’m starving,” Ritsuka proclaimed, stepping out of the bathroom and drying his hair with a towel. “What do you want for din--?” He stopped and stared curiously at his lover. “What are you doing?”

Soubi walked over to the teen and wrapped his arms around him. “Waiting for you.”

“I'm right here.” Ritsuka rested his hands on the older man’s chest and stared up at him. 

Soubi smiled warmly and leaned down to touch his forehead to Ritsuka’s. “I forgot something,” he whispered.

A large smile bloomed on Ritsuka’s face, one that both eased and broke Soubi’s heart. It had been awhile since they played that little game of theirs, one started so long ago over a text message. 

The teen leaned up on his toes and kissed Soubi gently on the lips. He broke away and blushed, embarrassed by the memory of kissing his cell phone all those years before. 

“Thank you,” Soubi said, cradling the teen in his arms. 

There was more, so much more that he wanted to say. But instead, he decided to end it between them at the same place where, in many ways, it had begun. 

Soubi leaned into Ritsuka’s ear and nuzzled it gently. 

“Go to sleep now,” he spoke softly. “The truth will dawn upon you with the morning light.”

Ritsuka pulled back in confusion. “What did… you…”

The teen collapsed in Soubi’s grasp. The Fighter picked him up and carried him over to the bed,  _their_  bed, laying him down with great care and covering him with a sheet. He stood upright and looked down at Ritsuka’s sleeping face, wanting to touch him again, but knowing that the time had already passed for such things. 

He turned and walked out of the apartment, down the steps, where he began walking toward his master, drawn to his voice like a ship to a beacon. But he had to hurry; Kio would be arriving there at any moment. He easily sensed his friend’s approach, could almost  _see_  him in his mind’s eye, and was a bit taken aback by just how quickly it all came back to him once he had decided to embrace his name.

His true power. Yielded only by his true name. 

Of course Natsuo and Youji had felt it. And they couldn’t have been the only ones. Had Ritsuka ever been any more attuned to his abilities as a Sacrifice, he surely would have felt it too, from the very beginning.

Rarely had the Fighter ever gotten an urge to act of his own volition, let alone give into that urge; he most certainly would have never dreamed of doing so until now. Punishment was bound to be in order for his actions.  So be it. There was precious little that hadn’t been done to his body  _or_ mind at the hands of Seimei and Ritsu. Truly, the only new ordeal left for him to experience was death itself.

And considering everything he had done, Soubi felt that perhaps that wouldn’t be such a bad thing, after all.

*****

“I have a proposition for you, Ritsu. One I think you’ll find quite to your liking,” Seimei said, standing by the window and staring at the older bespectacled man. “Walk away. Walk away from this fight that you have no chance of winning. Do that, and I’ll let you borrow Soubi for one night. A week, even. One week, to do to him whatever you want.”

The Sacrifice grinned at the brief look of consideration that passed through the other man’s eyes. “Come on, Ritsu. Surely you must have wondered what his body is like now that he’s older. Or would you rather just  _hear_  about it?”

“Let him go, Seimei. Or I  _will_  kill you,” Ritsu promised.

“Well, that’s not a very nice thing to say,” Seimei said, sliding the window open. “Is it, Soubi?”

“Sou--!” 

The name died on Ritsu’s lips as he saw the Fighter enter the room and stand obediently by his master’s side. He had come in hopes of rescuing him from the life that he had set into motion by allowing Seimei to have him, but one look into the dead, soulless--yet somehow, still  _frighteningly_ vibrant--blue eyes of the shell of a man before him only served as proof that there was nothing left to save.

Nothing at all.

   
  
  
  
_Save me from this madness… save me from this shame_  
 _Save me from this feeling… wipe these damn tears away_

_"Save Me" by Darius_


	8. Damnation

Seimei looked at the bloody and broken man lying on the floor with a mixed expression of sympathy and loathing. But what he really felt down to his core was anger. Betrayal, even. Not that he was above killing Ritsu himself, because he wasn’t. 

But that Soubi _wouldn’t_ …

No. It wasn’t his Fighter’s unfathomable denial that upset him the most. It was the reason _behind_ his staunch refusal to kill Ritsu that enraged him enough to want to destroy the very world he wished to dominate. 

“Pick him up, Soubi. You’ll at least do _that_ much for me, won’t you?”

The tall blond man, now little more than a beautiful, empty doll, swiftly bent down, grabbing his former master by the shirt and pulling him to his feet. Ritsu wobbled almost lifelessly in Soubi’s grasp, his glasses hanging askew and his hair and face smothered in clotted blood. Still yet, his eyes--as bloodshot as they were--remained remarkably vivid. 

“I’ve got to hand it to you, Ritsu,” Seimei said, leaning against the window across the room and observing the older man’s limp, battered body. “That was quite an effective little contingency plan you programmed into him. But you _do_ realize it makes no difference, don’t you?” He smiled sweetly. “You’re _still_ going to die.”

“Perhaps,” Ritsu croaked through a mouthful of blood. “But not in the way you so desperately want. Soubi will _not_ kill me.” His laughter was garbled but full of mocking. “And that drives you insane, doesn’t it?”

Seimei’s ears flicked slightly, so slightly that it was impossible to tell that it had even happened. His smile remained, as warm and friendly as ever, but the fury behind his eyes was evident. 

“Not at all,” he assured Ritsu. “ _How_ you die is hardly the issue.”

“Is that so?” The older Sacrifice hacked up an alarming amount of blood and spit it on the floor between him and Soubi. “Then why am I still alive? You could have killed me hours ago.”

“I wanted to see you suffer,” Seimei said.

“Perhaps,” Ritsu replied with a nod. His eyelids fluttered momentarily before flying open again, resuming their focus on Seimei. “Or perhaps you’ve been trying to figure out a way to undo my hold on the one part of his mind that you can't reach. Perhaps you won’t be able to rest until you can make him kill me because if you can’t…” 

He chuckled softly and favored Seimei with a teasing gaze. 

“… then you’ll know that he was never _completely_ yours to begin with.”

*****

In spite of the pain that ravaged every inch of him, Ritsu was amused by the rage that emanated from the twisted Sacrifice. Even though it was far too little, too late to consider it a victory of any measure, it was something. For Soubi as well as himself.

_Soubi…_

Ritsu’s eyes moved from Seimei’s to Soubi’s, looking for even the faintest sign of life and finding none at all. A tidal wave of guilt washed over him, momentarily drowning out the pain, but he knew he had only himself to blame. Indeed, Seimei had destroyed the Fighter, but _Ritsu_ was the one who had presented him to the beast on a silver platter, without even a hint of regret or remorse. 

He had long since waited for the day when his penance would come due, and now it seemed that time was finally at hand. It was very likely that he was dying as a result of his injuries and he hardly had enough faith in his own long-dormant power to believe his last-ditch effort to help Soubi would actually succeed. 

Still, he had to try.

_Please…_

“You seem confident that I can’t break you, old man,” Seimei said, inching closer to the two of them, the knife in his hand looking vicious in his grasp.

“No, Seimei…”

_Give me your power…_

“… I fully believe that you would have tortured me to the point of releasing him,” Ritsu continued, staring deeply into the dead eyes in front of him.  “But I’m afraid that you are under the misguided impression that I intend to give you the opportunity.”

Seimei stopped suddenly and frowned, dropping his cool reserve as he sensed the shift in the atmosphere--

_… one last time._

\--and that was when he finally realized what the Sacrifice--the _only_ Sacrifice in the world more powerful and capable than Beloved--was about to do. He sprinted across the room as Ritsu used the last of his physical strength to raise his arms and grip the sides of Soubi’s head, knife raised and ready to strike, trying to reach him before he could--

*****

Darkness.

There was something there, in the darkness, pulling him towards a truth that he did not want to know.

“So this is why I couldn’t call you, Loveless. His power is _truly_ amazing.”

Ritsuka gawked as a corner of the darkness that surrounded him faded into light. And from that light emerged a man… a man whose face looked eerily familiar and whose name he felt he should know. He was tall and had striking blue eyes, which were only enhanced by the glasses that he wore. He was, in a word, stunning. Perhaps not as stunning as Soubi.

A cloud of impending doom blanketed him as his thoughts turned to the one who had always been a source of comfort and protection for him.  But why did the mental image of Soubi now fill him with such dread?   
  
Something was wrong. 

Something was _very_ wrong.

“Are you… a ghost?” Ritsuka asked, his eyes wide and blinking with fear.

The man chuckled softly as he approached the nervous teen. “No,” he reassured him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I’m not dead.” He looked around the ominous darkness with a gaze that was part justification and part sadness. “Although I do fear I will never be able to leave this place.”

“Who are you?”

“I’m someone who needs your help,” Ritsu Minami said. “For Soubi’s sake, as well as yours.”

*****

Seimei pulled himself up to his knees and winced as a bolt of pain raced through his back, courtesy of the wall that he had struck as a result of being knocked back by the force of Ritsu’s spell. He supposed he should be grateful that he hadn’t hit the window instead; the velocity with which his body was flung was such that he would have easily burst through it.

He glanced across the room at Ritsu’s body, which lay in a crumpled heap next to Soubi’s feet. Even from that distance, Seimei could tell that he was still barely clinging to life, although it was fairly safe to assume that the man would never wake up again. What Ritsu had done would have killed a normal Sacrifice had they even possessed the type of power to do such a spectacular thing; there was no way his brain could have sustained the damage caused by his rash act of attempted heroics. And even if he did, by some miracle, regain consciousness, he would be little more than a living shell. Not unlike--

“Soubi.”

The slave turned around to regard his master with a blank stare. Seimei stood up and slowly walked over to him, appraising him as he did. 

Everything still seemed to be in working order, save for a thin trickle of blood under his right nostril. Obviously Seimei’s concern was not personal; he would have been no more concerned had any inanimate possession created solely for his personal use sustained any potential damage after something like that had happened.

After establishing that Soubi was still perfectly functional, he looked down at Ritsu for a long time, his face marred with disgust and revulsion. He would be lying if he said he didn’t feel some measure of admiration for what just occurred. But all admiration aside, he now found himself in the beginnings of a situation he had hoped to avoid, at least until he had come somewhat close to achieving his goal.

“You exhausted all of your power to save him,” he observed. “How touching. And troublesome.”

Seimei turned to Soubi again. “We don’t have much time.”

*****

“I know who you are.” 

Ritsuka shrugged off Ritsu’s hand and took a step back as he called to mind his lover’s tales of horror and pain at the hands of the man in front of him. Soubi hadn’t explicitly referred to his time with Ritsu as such. Instead he had recalled his time with the older man with a strange, eerie acceptance that Ritsuka could not begin to understand… although he also knew that his own silent acknowledgement of his mother’s abusive behavior was no different.

“What is this place? What’s going on? _Where’s Soubi?_ ”

Ritsu waited patiently for the teen to cease his questioning before answering him. “What is this place? Oblivion, perhaps. Although for you, it’s nothing more than a dream. As for the rest…” He paused for a moment and stared at his watch, although the move was purely symbolic. When his eyes met Ritsuka’s again, his face was filled with regret. “You’ll find out soon enough. But for now, I need you to listen to me. Very carefully.”

*****

Kio pried open his eyes and realized right away that he was not in the warm, snug comfort of his own bed. In fact, he wasn’t in _any_ bed at all, but rather a chair. 

Why was he sleeping in a chair? 

He sat up with a start and righted his glasses, ignoring the groan of his muscles, racking his brain to remember.

“Ritsuka!”

In the dim morning light of the room, he saw the teen asleep on the bed, as he had been when Kio let himself into the apartment. After waiting hours for Soubi to return, he had finally decided to forego his manners and wake Ritsuka, only to find that he could not be wakened. Chalking it up to sheer exhaustion-the kid was in his last and surely most frustrating year of high school, after all--Kio had taken a seat beside the bed and promptly dozed off himself. 

And now, as far as he could tell, Soubi still had not returned. Did they have a fight? It was the best explanation he could think of for his absence as well as the deep frown on the sleeping boy’s face. 

Wait. No, that wasn’t it. If Soubi and Ritsuka had argued, Soubi would have surely gone to Kio’s apartment. And, upon finding him gone, he surely would have called.

So where the hell was he?

Uneasiness tugged at Kio’s heart. It wasn’t like Soubi to miss class and it certainly wasn’t like him to disappear. His best friend might have been a lot of things--a weirdo and a pervert to name a few--but he didn’t vanish without a trace. Not unless something was wrong.

Kio debated going back to his place on the off-chance that he would find him there, waiting for him. But after a moment of deliberation, he decided to wait for Ritsuka to wake up. Somehow, that just felt like the right thing to do.

And so he sat back in the chair and continued his vigil over the sleeping teen while the sun made its quick ascent toward the horizon.

*****

“Loveless.”

“ _Don’t_ call me that!” Ritsuka fumed. 

Ritsu sighed in acquiescence. “Alright. _Ritsuka_ ,” he amended reluctantly. “There are things that you do not understand about Soubi. Things that have affected the man that he has become.”

“I understand plenty.” Ritsuka narrowed his eyes and glared at Ritsu. “I understand what you and… what you and Seimei did to him.”

“So you say… although what Beloved did to him was far worse.” Ritsu folded his hands behind his back and turned away from the teen, ruminating over his choice of words. “Soubi was… is _still_ … special. Unique. No other creature in this world will ever be able to compare to him. Training him the way I did… it was out of necessity to harness his power.”

Ritsuka’s face contorted in stunned disbelief. “That’s just… bullshit! What does _raping him_ have to do with training him?”

Ritsu closed his eyes and sighed again. “As I said, there are things that you do not understand.” He opened them and favored Ritsuka with a cold gaze. “Do you love Soubi?”

“What?” The young Sacrifice blinked, caught off guard by the question. “Of course I do.”

“No matter what he is made to do? Even if it’s something  _horribly_ unforgivable?”

Ritsuka’s eyebrows drew together. He didn’t like this line of questioning, not at all. Not when his heart was already filled with such unknown fear. “Well… yeah, I would… but… we all make our own choices,” he insisted. “I guess it… would just depend on… what he did.” 

With a look of grave regret, Ritsu slowly shook his head. “Then you truly understand nothing.” He stepped directly in front of the teen and peered down into his eyes. “A man can do anything in the absence of will. Any terrible, unthinkable thing, done without batting an eye. If you take away one’s freedom of choice, then what choice can he possibly make? And when one has enough power to destroy the world and everything in it, then he must _never_ have the opportunity to choose to do so. Unfortunately…”

His eyes moved back and forth across Ritsuka’s head as if noticing for the first time that he no longer had his ears. 

“Unfortunately,” he continued. “I did not realize that Seimei did not share this ideal until it was too late. And by then, Beloved had become unstoppable. We found that as long as we were able to placate the monster’s ego, we could keep him from using Soubi to do more than sanctioned battling.” Ritsu laughed bitterly. “We foolishly believed that we had tamed them both.”

Ritsuka paled as the weight of Ritsu’s words sunk in. “But… what does any of that have to do with me?” 

“Everything. You… Loveless… Ritsuka… call yourself what you will. You are the _only_ one who can save him.” Ritsu smiled softly and patted him gently on the head. “And now, I’m afraid that our time is up.” 

“Wait--!”

“Good luck, Loveless,” Ritsu said, lowering his hand and taking a step back. “As much as I’ve always doubted your ability, I _do_ believe that you can do this.”

Ritsuka reached out for Ritsu… and grabbed nothing. It was as if the man really was a ghost after all. But when he looked down at his outstretched hand, he realized that _he_ was the one who was fading… falling… being pulled away…

“Stop!” he yelled… although it was as if he hadn’t spoken at all.

“And don’t worry,” Ritsu said with reassurance. “You won't be alone.”

And then he was gone and Ritsuka found himself plummeting through the darkness… falling… hurdling towards that unwanted truth…

_Seimei._

_Seimei was alive._

_Seimei was_ always _alive and…_

_Soubi._

_Soubi had_ _… killed._

_Soubi had killed Breathless._

_And also…_

Ritsuka lashed out in the darkness, opening his mouth…

*****

… and screaming, howling as his mind was gripped in sickening imagery of events that far surpassed his worst possible nightmares.

Seimei.

Soubi.

Breathless.

His mother.

He clapped his hands to the sides of his head as his mind bent, on the verge of collapse, his throat and lungs crumbling under the strain of his cries, only vaguely aware of the panicked sound of his name and the sting of a slap against his cheek. 

Everything was a lie.

Everything he had ever known.

Everything he had ever loved.

When his voice finally ruptured, his mind resumed screaming for him, calling out, crying out, _reaching_ _out_ to the one whose betrayal was most paramount… yet still, somehow, the one he wanted most.

_SOUBI!!!!_

*****

Seimei’s hand had barely grasped the knob of the front door when he realized that his Fighter was no longer beside him.

He turned around and looked at Soubi as he stood in the middle of the room, staring off into the distance, his attention drawn to some unseen distraction. His face was still little more than a blank canvas, but behind his dead yet radiant eyes, Seimei saw the faintest sign of recognition. 

“I take it that my brother has finally received your little parting gift,” he said, narrowing his eyelids and glaring at him with intense scrutiny.  “I’m still not sure what you had hoped to accomplish by doing that, besides hurt him. And by the way, don’t think that your little random act of rebellion is going to go unpunished, Soubi. When this is over…” He let his voice trail away, which spoke more than any threat that he could verbalize.   

Things were unraveling entirely too quickly for his liking. Soubi’s disobedience, while infuriating, was easy enough to deal with.  But Ritsu’s impromptu call to arms was something for which he had not been prepared--at least, not so soon.

In the end, Seimei had decided to leave Ritsu behind because they couldn’t very well traipse through broad daylight with a half-dead man. Although Soubi could have easily used a spell to shield them, the last thing Seimei wanted was to draw attention to themselves. And, although he could have simply killed Ritsu, he had to admit the truth for what it was: the old Sacrifice had been right. Seimei _did_ want Soubi to kill him, if only because Ritsu was convinced that he wouldn’t. And if there was any remote possibility of his waking up, regardless of the state of his mind, then he had every intention of seeing that plan to fruition.

He _would_ prevail. 

“Let’s go.”

The Fighter obediently ambled towards him and followed him out of the house. And because his master was too concerned with his own agenda to pay him any mind, he was completely unaware of the faint hint of movement behind Soubi’s eyes, ignited into being by Ritsuka's heart-wrenching cry and born of the love and affection that he had cast aside.

Indeed, the old Soubi Agatsuma had passed away.

But behind those eyes, although now little more than a spark of what was to come, a new Soubi Agatsuma was emerging… although his path, much like the battle in which he was about to engage, had yet to be determined.

*****

“Should we go up?” Youji asked, staring up at the door to Soubi’s apartment.

Natsuo frowned and bit his lip. “I don’t know,” he replied. “We should probably wait. Do you sense anything?”

“Sadness. So much sadness.  I don't like knowing what that feels like.” Youji glanced at his Fighter and lover. “This is really bad, Natsuo.” 

Natsuo grabbed Youji’s hand and held it tightly. “Yeah. But it’s nothing we can’t handle.”

“Ohhhhh! Look who lost their ears, Kouya. How _cute!”_

They turned around and found themselves face to face with their predecessors. 

“Hey, Youji. Looks like Ritsu was so desperate for help he called these old ladies, too,” Natsuo ribbed.

“Not just them.” 

Because Youji’s voice was so full of uncharacteristic wonder, Natsuo followed his eyes, looking beyond the annoying presence of Kouya and Yamato.

“Holy shit,” the Fighter said, stunned and humbled by what he was seeing. 

The four Zero looked in awe upon the mass gathering of Fighters and Sacrifices.

“He called _all of us_ ,” Kouya marveled.

“But why?” Yamato asked. 

“Because we’re going to war against Beloved…” Youji looked over his shoulder towards Soubi’s apartment. “… and Ritsuka’s the one who’s going to lead us.”   
  


 

 

_Call of evil’s mastermind…_   
_The time is right to destroy the world._

_"Damnation" by Morbid Angel_


	9. Beginning of the End

_You are the Sacrifice, Ritsuka.  
  
It is… painful.  Very painful.  Can you withstand it?  
  
No matter how much you suffer, can you bear it, Ritsuka?  
  
… I love you._  
  
*****  
  
Kio knelt by the bed and watched as Ritsuka cradled his head in his hands as if to shield himself from the sheer magnitude of the truths with which he had just been confronted, realizing that he was bearing witness to a mind on the verge of imminent collapse. He couldn’t believe it himself, the multitude of atrocities that the young teen had so adamantly accused Soubi of committing; it was entirely too impossible to fathom.  Even _if_ Seimei was alive, Soubi was… well, he was different now.  
  
Wasn’t he?  
  
“Ritsuka…”   
  
A loud knock interrupted him--which was just as well because he had absolutely no idea what to say to the boy--and he pulled himself to his feet and hurried over to the door.  Perhaps Soubi had lost his keys… although Kio knew in his heart that wanting to believe so was a desperate shot in the dark at some small measure of hope.  He flung the door open and found himself face to face with Natsuo and Youji, and he felt his already slippery grasp on disbelief waning very quickly.     
  
Because if _they_ were here, then that meant Ritsuka was telling the truth.

“Yo, Old Man.  Where’s Ritsuka?” Natsuo demanded, barging past Kio without invitation and pulling Youji along with him.  “Ritsuka!” he called out, making a beeline for the bed.  _“Ritsuka!”_  
  
“Hey, wait a minute!”  Kio slammed the door and followed them.  “You can’t just come storming in here like this!”  
  
Youji’s serene face bore the reality that Kio could no longer deny.  The words that followed were simply a vocal confirmation of what his heart now knew to be true.   
  
_“Seimei is alive._   Soubi is with him. Three people are already dead.  Maybe four. The longer we wait…”   
  
Natsuo stood beside his partner and gazed sadly at Kio.   

“… the more people Soubi will kill,” he said.  “Come on, Youji,” he added, tugging on his partner’s hand and leaving the man to gape.

They approached the bed and crawled in beside the broken teen, flanking him with matching expressions of urgency and concern.  Ritsuka did not acknowledge their intrusion until Natsuo grabbed him by the arms and turned him to the side so that they were facing one another. 

“Ritsuka,” he started, searching the depths of the boy’s eyes for any sign of awareness.  “You know now, don’t you? What Soubi did?”

Upon the mention of his lover’s name, Ritsuka squeezed his eyes shut, causing a tear to fall from both of them.  A small, tortured moan escaped his lips and he shook his head as if to ward off any implication of the things that Soubi had already done. 

“ _Seimei_ has him under his control again,” Youji said, placing a hand on the teen’s back.  “Ritsuka, we have to fight them.  And we have to do it _now_ , before they hurt anyone else.”

Natsuo continued where Youji left off.  “Ritsu called us.  He called _all_ of us.  The others are outside right now, waiting for you.” 

“If it was just Seimei, then maybe we could beat him.  But with Soubi… it’s too much.”  Youji frowned in frustration over the limitations of his and Natsuo’s strength compared to that of Beloved.  “We can’t win against him.  Not without you.”

“You’re the only one who can stop him,” Natsuo finished.

_(You are the only one who can save him.)_

The teen shook his head again and attempted to pull away from Natsuo.  Youji sighed impatiently.  It wasn’t as if they weren’t sympathetic to what he was going through, but they were quickly running out of time. 

“Ritsuka--”

“Leave.  Both of you.”

The three young men gawked at Kio, who had silently approached them as they were speaking to Ritsuka.  He looked between Natsuo and Youji with an intense yet eerily calm gaze that they had never seen before, one that dared not be denied.

“Go wait outside,” he said.  “I want to talk to Ritsuka.  _Alone_.”

*****

After a careful amount of consideration, Seimei concluded that facing them all head-on was bound to be his best course of action, as premature as it was.  He had so wanted the pleasure of picking them off one by one, sniping each team until they were all eliminated, but because of Ritsu, it was going to be impossible now.  He could feel them, _all_ of them, gathered en masse like some obstructive tumor, waiting--

_for Ritsuka_

\--to make their move against him.  Stupid children.  Their misguided plight would almost be laughable if it wasn’t such a damn hindrance to his original plan.  It was rather annoying that he had been reduced to such a less than eloquent course of action, but it would have to do.   
  
A little improvising never hurt anybody.  
  
*****

“Get up and get out there right now.”

Ritsuka was stunned by Kio’s demand.  His present demeanor was so unlike his usual kind and bumbling self that the teen was momentarily distracted from his sadness by the man’s wholly uncharacteristic behavior.

Get out there, huh?  And what _exactly_ was he supposed to do after that?  Run off to war against his brother and his lover?  That was pure insanity.  Madness. 

And _precisely_ the plan, from the looks of it.

“Look, Ritsuka,” Kio began, sitting down beside him.  “I never hid the fact that I always thought your brother was a piece of shit.  Sometimes I think I would have killed him myself if I'd had the chance, and you know I'm not a violent person.  And even if you _do_ know about everything he did to Soubi, you weren’t there to _see_ it.  It was so bad. A long time ago, I told you that you brought him back from the dead and I meant it.  You really did. But this thing with Seimei… it’s like…”

He removed his glasses and folded them carefully, his brow set in a stern frown, then continued.

“It’s like Soubi can’t even _breathe_ without his permission.  That’s how it always was.  And as long as Seimei is alive, that’s how it will always be.  I know you don’t get it.  Hell, after all of this time, I _still_ don’t get it.  But it doesn’t change the fact that that’s just the way it is with those two.” Kio ran a frustrated hand through his blond hair and tugged nervously at his earrings.  “If all of this is true, then you _really are_ the only one who can stop him.  So please, Ritsuka… _please_ … bring him back.  For good, this time.”

Ritsuka turned away from Kio and stared blindly at the wall in front of him.  His mother was dead and his dead brother was alive.  Then there was Soubi, who was… a liar.  And a murderer.  Even if there _was_ some part of the man left to redeem, could he forgive him after all of this?

And what of his brother’s betrayal?  The idea that Seimei had actually ordered Soubi to kill his own mother… that was something only a monster could do.  And Seimei wasn’t a monster.  At least, not the Seimei that he knew.  Or rather, the Seimei he _thought_ he knew.

Either way, the harsh fact of the matter remained:  if he chose to do nothing and someone else got hurt then he would share a hand in the blame.  That was irrefutable. And while he wasn’t sure that he could do what everyone else apparently thought him capable of doing, he had to do something.  
  
He didn't want to, but even so... he had to try.

“Okay,” he said, giving Kio a slight nod. 

The teen stood slowly, ignoring the ache in both his body and his heart.  There would be enough time to deal with those things later. 

Entirely _too much_ time, as it would turn out.

*****

_He's decided to defy me._

Seimei sighed in disappointment.  He supposed that he had known it would come to this; Ritsuka’s unbelievably distorted views of right and wrong had always been the one glaring flaw in such an otherwise perfect being.  It wasn’t entirely the boy’s fault though; Seimei felt that his disappearance had contributed greatly to his brother's shortcomings.

Still, if he could talk some sense into him before the inevitable fallout, then everything would be fine.  He would kill the others and he and Ritsuka could live their lives together the way he had always envisioned--free from their mother, free from _all_ of them.  So all was not  lost. 

At least, not yet. 

“I’m coming, Ritsuka,” he whispered, quickening his pace towards what was ultimately to become his final destination. 

*****

“Um… Y-Yamato… could you please take your… _chest_ … off of me?”

Ritsuka pried himself out of the Zero’s crushing embrace, blushing furiously at being smothered with the Sacrifice’s ample cleavage.  While it wasn’t anywhere near Yukio’s proportions--not that he looked but it was damn hard not to notice--it was considerable enough to hurt any unsuspecting soul who had the misfortune of falling into its grasp.  Like him.

“I’m sorry,” Yamato said, sounding anything but.  “I’m just so happy to see you again after all this time.”  She glanced at the teen’s notable lack of ears and beamed happily.  “ _All_ grown up.”

“Come on, Grandma, let him breathe,” Natsuo snapped, scrunching his face in disgust.

“Oh, fine.”  Yamato released Ritsuka and patted him dutifully on the head, her smile slowly fading into a look of sympathy.  “I’m sorry,” she said again, this time for reasons other than her impromptu glomping. 

“Thank you,” Ritsuka said softly, appreciating the gesture. He looked around at the many faces of Fighters and Sacrifices who had come to his aid at Ritsu’s last ditch request.  With the exception of both Zero teams and Sleepless, he didn’t recognize any of them. 

All of them, there to fight Seimei and Soubi. Were they really _that_ strong?

“Hey, Ritsuka,”  Youji said.  “Are you ready for this?”

“As ready as I’m going to be, I guess,” Ritsuka replied, casting his eyes toward the ground.  “But I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do.”

“Don't worry.  You’ll know when the time comes,” the Sacrifice promised. 

“That’s right,” Natsuo piped in. 

Unfortunately, Ritsuka wasn’t nearly as optimistic as the others.  This was his one and only brother, after all.  In spite of everything that had already happened, could he _really_ stand back and let them hurt him...

_(As long as Seimei is alive…)_

… or worse?

Even if it _was_ the only way to save Soubi?

Ritsuka rubbed absentmindedly at his chest; the massive weight of their undertaking was beginning to take its toll on the fragile teen, making it feel as if something--or some _one_ \--was bearing down on him, absorbing what little remnants of willpower he had left and--

_“THEY’RE HERE!  EVERYBODY, GET BACK!!!”_

Ritsuka gasped as Natsuo grabbed onto his shirt and yanked him back roughly, stepping between him and the two faint figures moving towards them.  Even from such a distance, even after all of these years, he immediately recognized his brother and the undeniable truth and horror of the entire situation hit him hard, all over again, bowling over him and sending him catapulting headlong into a darkness once again.

*****

_“Battle system, initiate!”_

_“Battle system, initiate!”_

_“Battle system, initiate!”_

Seimei ignored the rallying cry of Ritsu’s summoned horde and watched as the disgusting Zero Sacrifice held his unconscious little brother, sullying him with his dirty touch.  Although the sight filled him with an almost inexplicable rage, his voice remained gentle, masking the fury beneath.

“Put… him… down.”

Another Zero--the fighter, Seimei assumed--took a step closer to him. 

“No way.  We're not gonna let you hurt him, you asshole.” Natsuo said.

“I have no intention whatsoever of hurting him,” Seimei replied calmly.

“Bullshit!  You killed _your own mother_ , you sick fuck!”

Seimei chuckled softly and shook his head.  Oh, how he hated dealing with such simple, dimwitted things.  “My mother was inconsequential.  As are all of you. Ritsuka is the only one who matters to me.”

“Yeah, well you can’t have him.”  Natsuo turned his animosity towards Soubi.  “And _you._   Do you have _any idea_ what you’ve done?”  
  
"Don't speak to him," Seimei warned, showing the first mild traces of his anger... and completely unaware of the faint flinch on Soubi's face at Natsuo's accusation.  "Only an idiot would address a dog's master through the dog itself," he added.  
  
"Stop this now, Seimei," Youji said, cradling Ritsuka closely.  "For Ritsuka's sake, just stop it."  
  
"You already know that I won't do that any more than you will.  Besides, I'm doing this _for_ Ritsuka." The Sacrifice let his dark eyes trail across the sea of assembled bodies.  "But enough talking.”  

Seimei let out a heavy sigh, having already grown weary of such a futile conversation.  The time had come to end this.

“Soubi, bring Ritsuka to me.  Then kill them all.”

*****

Kio stood outside the door of the apartment and looked out upon the vast open space.  Although he couldn’t see what was taking place due to the multitude of barriers set forth by each and every Fighter that had cast one, he could feel them, _all_ of them, ominously distinct beneath the nothing.

The fight for Ritsuka... for Soubi... for _everything_ had only just begun.

  
  
_The life we knew before is gone;_  
 _I don’t know where we lost control…_  
 _It’s the beginning of the end._

_"Beginning of the End " by Spineshank_


	10. Deliverance

_“Time to wake up, Ritsuka.”_  
  
 _Ritsuka opened his eyes and found Seimei sitting on the edge of his bed, favoring him with a warm, gentle smile that was impossible not to reciprocate.  The teenager yawned and turned over onto his side to face his brother, eagerly nuzzling against the smooth hand that lovingly caressed his jaw while his ears and tail flicked happily at the open display of affection._  
  
 _Wait a minute._  
  
Ears?  Tail?  
  
 _Before he could touch the top of his head to confirm that his ears were still there, as well as ponder why he felt as if he should no longer have them, Seimei took his hand and kissed it softly, tenderly._  
  
 _“Did you have a bad dream?” he asked._  
  
 _“I… I don’t know,” Ritsuka responded with a slight frown.  There was something… something right on the tip of his tongue that he felt he ought to know but… no, he just couldn’t grasp it.  He blinked at Seimei, who regarded him with a kind, almost hypnotic gaze.  “I don’t remember.  Is that weird?”_  
  
 _Seimei crawled into the bed and wrapped his arms around Ritsuka’s waist, and then rested his chin on top of the boy’s head.  “Not at all.  Some dreams should be forgotten.”_  
  
 _Ritsuka nodded at his brother’s wisdom--was there ever a time when Seimei_ wasn’t _right?--and gave himself up to the soothing embrace.  There was nothing in the world that could compare to the comfort of Seimei’s arms.  Not even Soubi—_  
  
Soubi!  
  
 _Overcome by a sudden sense of panic for a reason he did not know, Ritsuka moved to sit up only to find himself now being pinned down by those same comforting arms._  
  
 _“S-Seimei?”_

_“Stay with me, Ritsuka,” Seimei pleaded, pressing his forehead against the teen’s.  “_ Please _stay with me…”_  
  
*****  
  
“Damn it.”  
  
Seimei stared at his little brother’s limp form, snugly and sickeningly cradled by a Zero.  Now that he had disengaged from Ritsuka’s mind, he could feel him hurtling towards consciousness.  Time was growing short.  
  
So why was Soubi still standing there?  
  
He looked the tall blond, his face peaceful while his eyes were filled with unmistakable contempt.  
  
“I gave you an order.”  
  
*****  
  
Seimei’s voice was low and razor sharp, and it cut through the wall of Soubi’s hesitation with deadly precision. Soubi knew that when he won this fight--there was no question of ‘if’--the chances were slim, bordering on nonexistent, that he would survive Seimei’s subsequent wrath. And while death did not concern him at all, not anymore, the sight of Ritsuka lying unconscious, so very small and fragile, concerned him _very much_.  It cut into his heart with a viciousness that he hadn’t expected and it hurt in a way that made physical pain seem like a treat, and for one rare and fleeting moment, Seimei had ceased to exist in his mind altogether.  
  
But now that moment was gone.  
  
Cold eyes passed over the faces of his fellow Fighters and Sacrifices, old faces and new faces, and in that single glance, he was quickly able to determine each pair’s strengths and weaknesses. None of them stood a chance against him. And surely Ritsu must have known that.  So what was he thinking in sending them there to die?  
  
“Battle system, initiate.”  
  
Soubi’s barrier eclipsed the others', trapping them all inside of the ominous enclosure.   The size of it was not meant to brag or intimidate; it was simply a reflection of the sheer enormity of Soubi’s strength now that it had been fully unleashed.  At this point, he could not have reined in his power if he had tried. It surged through him in waves so massive that the ensuing combined Zero attack barely warranted his effort. The same four synthetic beings who were able to reduce him to a broken and bloody mess all those years ago were utterly powerless against him now.    
  
Youji, Yamato, and the other Sacrifices fell to the ground amid a flurry of binding, immobilized and fully restricted.  Natsuo, Kouya, and the other Fighters soon crumbled beside them, clutching at their heads and writhing in agony.  All of this, with the mere uttering of an elegantly worded phrase. It was entirely too easy.  
  
With that out of the way, Soubi approached Natsuo, who, in spite of his torture, blanketed Ritsuka with his body in a futile attempt to shield him.  He bent down, easily nudged him aside, and swept Ritsuka into his arms.

*****

Ritsuka knew those arms.  

“Soubi?”

They were the arms that had held him countless times over the past five years.  They were the arms that felt like home.

He opened his eyes and peered into Soubi’s face…

… and then he remembered what Soubi did.

*****

In spite of the excruciating pain that threatened to split his head in two, Natsuo sensed an opening when Soubi picked up the teenager.  It was a small opening, one that would likely lead to nothing, but still, he _had_ to try. For Youji, for Ritsuka, for Ritsu and the others… even for Soubi.

  
He spotted Seimei, whose features were distorted through the blurred vision of his left eye.  The Sacrifice’s attention was diverted, focused on his brother and his Fighter. Natsuo knew that he would not get another chance like this.

Summoning what was left of his strength, he reached out to Seimei with a trembling hand.

“Restrain,” he whispered.  “Your body can no longer move.”

*****

Soubi felt something rush past him, some mighty and unseen thing, but there was little he was able to do as he found himself trapped in a purple-eyed gaze filled with the sting of betrayal.  

He was finally facing Ritsuka.  

And Ritsuka knew everything now.

_Everything._

*****

Seimei was not sure which he found more annoying: the essence-draining chains that now bound him about the neck and wrists or the fact that Soubi was so distracted by Ritsuka that he had allowed it to happen.  In an odd way, his annoyance trumped the ache of being restricted, enabling him to refrain from succumbing to it.  

But it should have _never_ happened in the first place.

If he had not already made up his mind to kill Soubi after this was over, his failure to protect him was more than enough reason to do so.

“Soubi,” he said through gritted teeth.   _“Bring me my brother.”_

*****

Ritsuka knew that voice.  

“Seimei?”

For one traitorous instant, his heart was elated.  Seimei had been his refuge since the day he was born, his haven from Misaki and the only person in the world from whom he had ever felt love.  At least before he met Soubi.

How many times had he curled into a ball on his bed, biting back tears in the wake of his mother’s abuse and wishing that his brother was still there to protect him?  

Well, his wish had finally been granted.  But this… this was not what he wanted.

“Soubi,” he said quietly.  “Put me down.”

*****

Seimei smiled happily at Ritsuka, as if all was right with the world and those around him were not on the verge of demise. Because all _was_ right with the world as far as he knew or cared.  Ritsuka was there so nothing else concerned him. Not even the chains that limited him.

“Ritsuka, come here.”

Ritsuka approached Seimei slowly, cautiously, stopping just beyond arm’s length.  Standing face to face for the first time in years, the brothers were now almost mirror images of one another, save for the recent subtraction of Ritsuka’s ears and tail.  

“I’m so happy to see you,” Seimei said, trying to reach out for Ritsuka… and failing.  The Zero’s spell was far more effective than it should have been; if Soubi had bothered tending to his task properly he would not be in such a predicament.

Speaking of his waste of a Fighter, he merely stood there like a living statue, one half of his orders remaining egregiously unfinished.  Seimei could not wait to be shut of him.

Keeping his expression fixed for Ritsuka’s sake, he penetrated Soubi’s mind, delighting in the way that the blond winced at the mental intrusion.    

_What the hell are you waiting for?  Kill them all.  Now._

*****

_I don’t want to._

Soubi was taken aback by the clarity of his inner voice, which had been so muted for so long that it was all but lost until now.  However, it was too late to rebel.  The damage was far too irreparable and his sins, unforgivable.  The last thing he wanted was to subject Ritsuka to more death and destruction, not when the boy had already suffered so much because of him.

But Seimei’s word was law, and his will, absolute.  

He looked upon the bodies of the Fighters and Sacrifices and raised his hand towards them, prepared to obey his master’s orders one last time…

“That’s enough, Soubi.  Let them go.”

… until Ritsuka’s hand came to rest on top of his, catching him off guard and causing everything to break, Seimei’s hold and the spell.

And Soubi’s heart.  

A lifetime of bondage, undone with a single touch.  Defeated.  Just like that.

“Ritsuka…”

Soubi hung his head, his hair obscuring his face, his guilt and sorrow and shame unbearable.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice thick with remorse. “I’m so sorry.”

*****

“Youji!”

Natsuo cradled his partner to his chest, overcome with relief and relinquishing his hold on Seimei in the process.  

“What happened?” Youji asked. “Is it over already?”

Natsuo rose to his feet and pulled Youji to his.  He motioned towards Soubi, Ritsuka, and Seimei, all of whom, at least momentarily, seemed oblivious to their existence.

“It’s not over,” he replied.  “But something’s… different.”

Kinka and Ginka joined the Zero, their arms wrapped around each other for support.  “We should attack while they’re distracted,” Kinka suggested.

“Look Sleepless, you guys may be in a hurry to get hurt again, but you’re going to have to give me a minute,” Yamato piped in, cringing as she rubbed the spot just above her ample cleavage.   Soubi’s spell very likely damaged her most of all, considering the disappearance of her mark.    

“This is why I didn’t want you getting involved,” Kouya said.

While their counterparts bickered over Yamato’s health and the others licked their respective wounds, Youji approached Natsuo, who had moved away from the throng to watch the trio from a reasonably safe distance.  

“I knew he was stronger with Seimei, but this is crazy.” Youji took a deep breath, his fingers intertwining with Natsuo’s.  “I hate to admit it but we’re no match for Beloved.”

“You’re right,” Natsuo agreed, his voice uncharacteristically soft and thoughtful.  “I don’t think we were ever meant to be.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think Ritsu was just using us to force his hand.”

Youji frowned in confusion.  “Seimei’s?”

Natsuo shook his head.  “No,” he said.   _“Ritsuka’s.”_

*****

_Do you love Soubi?  No matter what he is made to do?  Even if it’s something… horribly unforgivable?_

_It’s like Soubi can’t even breathe without his permission.  And as long as Seimei is alive, that’s how it will always be._

_A man can do anything in the absence of will._

_You are the only one who can save him._

_So please Ritsuka… please… bring him back._

As the words of Ritsu and Kio resounded through his mind, Ritsuka stared at Soubi, his heart a melting pot of love and pity and disgust and anger.  He was horrified by his longing to touch him again, as if the man hadn’t killed his mother and Ai and Midori, and he closed his hands into tight fists, nails digging into his palms hard enough to break skin, to prevent himself from doing so.  

The others were safe for now.  That was all that mattered. As for Soubi… well, Ritsuka couldn’t bring himself to think about him just yet.  

And as for Seimei…

*****

Seimei was livid, although his façade showed otherwise.

Soubi had failed him _spectacularly_.  There was no way that he could face the other teams on his own and he was fortunate that they decided not to attack again.  He would have to retreat, something that upset him even more.

This was _not_ how his reunion with Ritsuka was supposed to unfold.  While he faced the likely yet anguishing prospect of allowing his enemies to live--for now--Seimei was willing to suffer the loss if he could only have Ritsuka in return.  

_All he wanted_ was Ritsuka.  

“Ritsuka.”

Now that he was able to move freely, Seimei eased closer to the young man.  Soubi just stood there like a fool, and Seimei was consumed by a near insurmountable urge to lash out at him.  But there would be time for that later.

First, he had to set things right with his brother.  

“I’ve missed you,” he tried again.

Ritsuka observed his brother in the guarded and distrustful way that one might observe stranger.

“You were alive this whole time.  You _lied_ to me.”

“I know.  But I had to disappear because my life was in danger,” Seimei explained, conveniently failing to add that such was the case as a result of his own devious actions. “I couldn’t come back until I knew that it was safe for us to be together again.”

“Danger from who?” Ritsuka glared at Seimei, his eyes blazing with confusion and sadness and fury. “ Breathless?   _Mother?_ ”  

“No, Ritsuka, _your_ life was the one at risk as far as she was concerned,” Seimei said.  “What on earth did you think that she would do to you after you let Soubi… do what he did?”

Ritsuka flinched visibly at that, as if struck.  “She may have... hurt me... but she would have never tried to kill me.”

“Do you really believe that?” Seimei asked doubtfully.  “She never loved you, Ritsuka.  Dad never loved you either.  Your true name is _Loveless_ for a very good reason.”

He held out his hand before continuing, his voice smooth and inviting.  “But _I_ love you, Ritsuka.  I’m the _only one_ who loves you.  So come with me, right now…”

*****

“…before it’s too late.”

“Don’t listen to him, Ritsuka!”

“Huh?”  Ritsuka barely registered Soubi’s voice when the man snatched him forward and held the teen’s face in his hands, forcing their eyes to meet.  

“It’s a spell.  He’s trying to—”

Seimei moved with astonishing quickness.  “You’ve betrayed me for the last time, Soubi.”

Although he made no noise, pain bloomed on Soubi’s face.  Before Ritsuka could understand what just happened, before he could realize that he had just witnessed firsthand the true extent of his brother’s unfathomable evil, the Fighter fell face-first onto the ground, revealing the handle of the knife that protruded from his back.

_“Soubi!”_

Forgetting his previous hesitation, Ritsuka grabbed Soubi by the shoulders and carefully turned him onto his side, seized by a sense of panic unlike anything he had ever felt before in his life.  

“Soubi?”  Ritsuka shook him vigorously, his terror complete.   _“Soubi?”_

Seimei brutally yanked out the knife and turned the bloody blade in his hand, admiring its severity. He then glanced at Natsuo and Youji, who now flanked Ritsuka, ready and poised to fight, and in spite of his murderous rage, his countenance remained serene, his voice still frighteningly calm.  

“I’m waiting, Ritsuka.”

“He’s not going anywhere with you,” Natsuo informed him.  “I don’t give a shit what you do to me.”

“No, you don’t,” Seimei mused, deliberately acknowledging Youji before returning his attention to Natsuo and smiling with horrible kindness.  “But I think you _do_ care about what I do to others.”

“ _Stop it, Seimei!”_  Unaware that he had even started crying, Ritsuka wiped his eyes and looked up in disbelief at the brother he thought he knew.  “What is _wrong_ with you? Please… just...  _stop_.”

Seimei stared at Ritsuka for a very long time.

Eventually, he spoke again.

“All I ever wanted was to make a place in the world where we could be together.  You are the most important person in my life, Ritsuka. The  _only_ person in my life.  Can't you see that I'm doing this for you?”  Seimei let out a forlorn sigh, as if having become aware of some great and terrible thing.  “This is my fault.  I failed you because I wasn’t there for you.”  

He reached out and lovingly smoothed his fingers along Ritsuka’s earless head, the knife dangerously close to the boy’s face.

“But I’m here _now_.  So make your choice, Ritsuka. Do I kill _them_ or—”

Suddenly, Seimei froze.  His arms fell limp to his sides, the knife clanking down to the ground.  Ritsuka, Natsuo, and Youji gaped at the Sacrifice, unable to make sense of what had just happened… until Soubi sat up with a grunt and removed his glasses with a fumbling hand, his breathing hard and labored as a result of his wound.  

“Soubi!” Rituka cried, insanely relieved.

“… out of here.”

“What?”

Soubi latched onto Ritsuka’s shirt and wavered unsteadily, his face a grimace of discomfort.  “I can’t hold him for long,” he whispered.  “You have to get out of here.”

Ritsuka emphatically shook his head.  He hadn’t forgiven Soubi and didn’t know if he ever could, but there was a foreboding in the man’s voice that alarmed him, a grave sense of finality in his words that he dared not contemplate.    
  
“I’m not going anywhere without you.”

He gasped as Soubi cupped his jaw and used his thumb to wipe the wetness from his cheek.  Ritsuka instinctively closed his eyes and pressed against him, not realizing until that moment just how desperately he still craved his lover's touch.  

After everything that had happened, how was that even possible?

“I love you very much, Ritsuka.  I always will.  Now go to sleep.”

“Wait—!”

Ritsuka’s eyes widened… then immediately fluttered until they closed.  

*****

Born again. 

Dying.

For Soubi, both felt accurate.   

Ritsuka had saved him.  For the first time in his life, he was really and truly free. And now he would return the favor before it was too late.  

Soubi stared down at Ritsuka’s sleeping face and carefully swept the hair away from his forehead.  There was a strange stinging in his eyes as he did so.  Then, understanding it for what it was, he laughed bitterly.

He hadn’t cried since he was a child.  And he wasn’t about to start now. But… it was kind of nice to know that he remembered how to do it.  

Soubi looked at Natsuo and Youji, former enemies who had evolved into two of the most unlikely, albeit occasionally annoying allies. Funny, he was actually going to miss them.  A little bit.  

“Take him and go.  Get everyone out of the barrier,” he ordered them.  

Knowing full well what Soubi meant to do, Natsuo shook his head slowly, sadly.  “No.”

“Do it,” Soubi said firmly.  “And whatever happens, whatever you see, _don’t come back_.”   

  
  
  
  
_All the time before us_   
_Doesn’t taint my memory._   
_When the love we share forgets us,_   
_This dream will set us free._

_"Deliverance" by Quietdrive_


	11. Sacrifice

Soubi rocked dizzily on his feet, the world and everything in it seeming to spin around at an alarming rate.  The pain from the stab wound was incredibly immense, and he thought that he might pass out from it very soon.  But it was just as well, as far as he was concerned.  All he needed to do was stay conscious long enough to set things right.  After that… well, after that didn’t matter anymore. 

Just a little while longer.  Then he could retreat to the darkness forever.  It would be a welcome relief.

He staggered towards Seimei until they were face to face, looking at him, _seeing_ him for the first time without the fear and dread that had dominated him since the day they met.  Now that he was viewing things clearly--albeit too little, too late--he found it hard to believe that he had been so fiercely beholden to such a reprehensible human being.

All the damage, the hurt, the grief… the murder… all of it… for _him_?

“Oh, Seimei.” 

Soubi reached out and gently stroked the young man’s cheek, and he wasn’t the least bit surprised when a small, dark corner of his heart rejoiced upon contact.  He knew that he still loved Seimei, in an extremely twisted sort of way, the kind of love that poisoned, ruptured.  The kind of love that really wasn’t love at all, at its core.  And he would always feel that love, to some degree.  It couldn’t be helped.  But even that held no sway over him anymore.

“You should have never come back.”

Seimei cringed against the fingers that traced down his jawline.  It was all he could manage because of the spell that bound him in place. 

“You… can’t… hold me… forever,” he spat through clenched teeth, his fury emanating like scorching heat.

Soubi lowered his hand and nodded in agreement.  He could feel the Sacrifice trying to break the spell.  Considering Seimei’s power, it wouldn’t be long before he did.  Soubi moved behind him and swept him into a backwards embrace, joining his hands around Seimei’s stomach.  He nuzzled his face against dark hair and the ears he had once so desperately wanted to take. There was a time when it was the only thing that he ever wanted, a time before he discovered that love did not have to be synonymous with hate.  A time before Ritsuka.

_Ritsuka…_

A bolt of pain tore through Soubi upon thinking of his name, one that cut deeper and hurt far more than Seimei’s knife.  There he was, about to do yet another thing that was going to bring the boy heartache.  Maybe Ritsuka would never be able to forgive him for what he was about to do.  But at least he would be able to move on.   

Hopefully.

“Just a little while longer,” the Fighter said.  “That’s all I need.”

Realization dawned in Seimei’s eyes.

“… command you… let… me… go.”

“No.”

Soubi winced as a hand clamped over his arm.  His spell was unraveling quickly.  He pulled out of Seimei’s grasp and stepped around to face him.  Soubi pulled Seimei into his arms and pressed his forehead to the Sacrifice’s.  He then closed his eyes, his mind overrun by so many regrets and could-have-beens, all the things that might have been different in his life if not for the misfortune of his destiny.  But it was because of that destiny that he had come to know Ritsuka, and for that, if nothing else, he was grateful.

There were things that Soubi wanted to say to Seimei.  So many things, rising to the surface of his being after years upon years of repression and denial.  But even if not for lack of time, what difference would it make?  No words or expression of sentiment would ever break through the Sacrifice’s hatred and madness.  Plus doing so would only prolong the inevitable. 

No.  Best not to delay any longer. 

Seimei Aoyagi was said to have died by fire once.  Perhaps it was only fitting that such be the case again.  This time for real.

Soubi opened his mouth and began to speak. 

Shortly after that, the barrier erupted in flames.

*****

While Ritsu could not see Ritsuka, he could feel him out there, somewhere in the darkness, in the place beyond sleep and dreams.

“For goodness sake, Loveless,” he muttered.   “You could have at least _tried_ to deflect his spell.”

Although to be fair, Ritsu did realize that Soubi’s spell was a strong one, designed to keep the boy unconscious long enough for the Fighter to do what he intended to do.  And surely whatever strength Ritsuka did have was all but nullified by the emotional devastation of learning that the two people he loved most in the whole world were also the ones who betrayed him in such a horrific way.

Ritsu did not know the specifics of what Soubi was about to do, but he had a very good idea of the end result.

“So this is your intention, Soubi?  To deny the world your existence?”  
  
He shook his head in firm denial.

“I cannot allow that to happen.”

Ritsu closed his eyes and concentrated until he was able to zero in on Ritsuka’s presence.  It would take every single ounce of his remaining power to break the spell, which would ultimately prove catastrophic when combined with the events that took place at the Aoyagi house, where his body still was, as yet undiscovered.  In other words, on the off chance that Ritsu _did_ recover from his physical injuries, which would be a miracle in and of itself, he would be useless as a Sacrifice for the rest of his life. 

A Sacrifice’s sacrifice.  How tragically poetic.

“Wake up…”

*****

_… Ritsuka._

Ritsuka’s eyes flew open and he sat up with a start, knocking back Youji in the process.  He shook his head to clear the fog in his mind and then looked around at the group of Fighters and Sacrifices who were tending to their wounds from Soubi’s previous assault. 

Soubi and Seimei were nowhere to be found.

“Where’s Soubi?” he asked the green-haired Sacrifice. 

Youji did not respond… but his expression was answer enough.

The young man turned to Youji’s partner.  “Natsuo?”

A single eye regarded him with sorrow.  “He’s inside the barrier,” he said.  “And I don’t think he plans on coming out.”

Panic ripped through Ritsuka's core. It was already bad enough that Soubi was injured, perhaps gravely, because of Seimei.  If he really meant to....

His mind did not allow him to finish the thought.  In spite of all the things he had come to know, Ritsuka found that he could not, _would not_ try to fathom a world without Soubi in it. 

He shook loose of Youji’s arms and rose to his feet.  He wavered for a moment but forced himself to move, pulling away from the hands that tried to detain him.  After a number of wobbly steps, he was met with invisible resistance, as if someone had placed an unseen wall in his path.  It was the barrier, which contained the two people who had most defined his life, such as it was. 

“Ritsuka, please don’t,” Youji pleaded.

“This is what Soubi wanted,” Natsuo added.  

“Save him.”

Ritsuka, Youji, and Natsuo turned and found that Kio had now joined them.

“Save him,” the blond said to Ritsuka again, nodding his desperate encouragement.  _“Hurry.”_

*****

It wasn’t the fire that killed Seimei, but his very own knife. 

He finally broke free of Soubi’s spell before the flames could reach either of them.  But without the psychological hold that had been the foundation of their warped union for years, he was no match for the larger and stronger man, who was able to turn the attack in his favor with relative ease, even with his injuries.  Unsurprisingly, there were no grand epiphanies or moments of truth; Seimei’s wrath held firm until his last breath. 

A monster, through and through, right up until the end.

Soubi cradled and rocked the lifeless body in his arms, his heart aching like never before.  He had killed before, without hesitation.  How ironic was it, then, that the death of the one person who deserved it the most--besides himself--affected him so deeply now that he could act of his own free will? 

The flames slowly drew closer and he waited patiently for them to reach him.  He would not take the cowardly path and quicken his own demise; he wanted to feel the pain, every agonizing second of it.  It was a suitable penance for all the suffering he had caused.  Soubi wrapped his mind around the image of Ritsuka, and it was enough, to die like that, with his memories to see him off into the beyond.

Yes, it was enough.  The only thing that Soubi would have liked more was to hear Ritsuka’s voice one last time--

“Soubi!”

For a moment, Soubi thought that he was imagining things, thinking so hard about the sound of Ritsuka’s voice that his brain was causing him to hear it.  Then Ritsuka called out to him again and he knew that it was for real, that somehow, against the odds, the boy had managed to find him. 

But _how_?

He sensed a rift in the barrier and gaped in awe as Ritsuka forced his way inside.  Soubi could not believe what he was witnessing, and in his amazement he almost forgot the incantation that would keep the young man from succumbing to the fire that he was blindly and brazenly determined to breach with no consideration whatsoever for his own safety.  While Ritsuka never had any idea about the power inherent with his family name, nor _showed_ it for that matter, it was clearly evident now in the way he so easily penetrated Soubi’s defenses. 

Would that he had been able to wield his true power all along.  Things might have played out differently in all of their lives.

Their eyes met across the fire-filled barrier. 

“How did you…?”

Soubi’s voice trailed off as the answer to his unfinished question became abundantly clear. 

Ritsu.  Ritsu was the reason that Ritsuka was there.

Which meant that he was still alive.  Or rather, had been, long enough to reverse Soubi’s spell. 

Ritsuka’s gaze lowered to the body of his older brother, his face contorting into an expression of sadness that no human being should ever know.  Soubi waited for the anger, anticipated the rebuke.  But when Ritsuka looked at him again and spoke, his voice was, of all things, calm.

“This is your plan?  To burn yourself up?”

“Yes.”  Soubi saw no reason to mince words, not when he was sitting there with a corpse in his arms. 

Ritsuka shook his head.  “Is that supposed to make everything better?”

“Not right now, but someday,” the Fighter replied.  He sighed heavily, and not without some difficulty as Seimei’s attack had very likely pierced his lung.  “You saw what Seimei is capable of and you know… what I did.  You’re better off without either of us in your life.”

“That’s not up to you, Soubi,” Ritsuka shot back, his voice on the verge of cracking and his eyes full of tears.  “You don’t just get to… go away.  That’s not fair.”

“Ritsuka--”

_“Shut up!”_

Soubi’s heart wrenched at the sight of Ritsuka’s tears and he wanted nothing more than to go to him and wrap his arms around him and take all of that agony into himself.  He would have gladly accepted an infinity of pain if it meant that Ritsuka wouldn’t have to.  What was all of his power good for if he still couldn’t ease his lover’s suffering?

He waited, not moving, not speaking, just watching as Ritsuka crossly wiped at his eyes.  The fire continued to roar around them, holding steady until commanded otherwise. 

Eventually, after minutes that felt more like hours, Ritsuka spoke again.

“You’re my…” He paused for a moment.  “You _were_ my Fighter.  Once.  A long time ago.”

Soubi nodded slowly.  In his heart, he never _stopped_ being Ritsuka’s Fighter.  But there was precious little he could have done about it since Seimei controlled his mind and his body.

“Fight for me now.  Don’t do this.”

The blond blinked at the Sacrifice, whose furrowed brow and glaring eyes seemed in direct conflict with what he was requesting.  But the words were spoken loud and clear.

For whatever reason, even after everything that Soubi had done, Ritsuka wanted him to stop what he had set out to do.

Ritsuka wanted him to live.

*****

The man in the hospital bed was, for all intents and purposes, dead to the world, except for the machines connected to him that were keeping him alive in body.  Soubi slipped into the room and approached the bed.  He wasn’t worried about staff wandering in and questioning his presence.  If asked, he would simply state that the man was his father.  And in some ways, it was true; aside from their uncanny general resemblance, Ritsu had been more of a parent to Soubi than his actual parents, even when their relationship had taken a sexual turn. 

He stared down at the older man’s sleeping face and felt that old familiar rush of love and hate wash over him.  Not unlike his feelings for Seimei but far less toxic.  Ritsu had raised and trained him after all, and when all was said and done, Ritsu actually _cared_ about him, as evidenced by his present condition.

Soubi lowered a hand to Ritsu’s forehead.  He wanted to act fast.  Not out of any real fear of getting caught but because even now, he much rather preferred to keep his time with Ritsu as brief as possible.  Some things could not be forgiven overnight, no matter the effort expended.

A lesson he would learn himself, soon enough.

“Ritsu.  If I have to live with what I've done, then so do you.”

Soubi reached out into the vast and endless darkness until he found what he was looking for.  What he was about to do was never meant to be done.  But Ritsu hadn’t been the only one seeking penance.

The man forfeited his power to save Soubi.  Now it was Soubi’s chance to return the favor. 

It would be his final spell.

A Fighter’s sacrifice.  How tragically poetic.

*****

There was no formal punishment for Soubi’s crimes, thanks largely in part to the insistence and influence of Ritsu, whose miraculous recovery had stunned everyone.  Ai and Midori were considered unfortunate casualties of a war that should have ended years earlier.  Misaki’s case was a civilian issue, and there was no way to explain to authorities how Soubi murdered her without introducing the general public to the private world of Fighters and Sacrifices and word spells.  And since Seimei was already _officially_ dead, his actual death was far easier to sweep under the rug.

But there was plenty of _informal_ punishment.  Soubi lost everything as a result of his carnage--his power and thus his status as a Fighter, his friends (he would be surprised if Natsuo and Youji ever talked to him again, which stung more than he expected), and most of all, _worst_ of all, Ritsuka. 

Two weeks had passed since that day, and they hadn’t spoken since.  Ritsuka stayed at Kio’s place while Soubi returned to the apartment to heal, which he did with astonishing quickness.  Physically, anyway.  He hardly ate and he barely slept, and as for school?  Forget about it.  It was all he could do to just get out of bed in the mornings, let alone worry about his education.  He was shrouded in remorse, all day, every day, and it was compounded by his newfound clarity of conscience.  Ai… Midori… Misaki… and yes, even Seimei.  Four lives brutally snatched from the world.   Four lives that would never come back.  Because of him.  What right did he have to _any_ sort of existence, let alone the pursuit of a decent one?

And just when Soubi was beginning to think that he had it all wrong, that Ritsuka really _didn’t_ care whether he lived or died, the young man showed up at his door.

With a suitcase in his hand.

*****

As much as he had tried to prepare himself beforehand, Ritsuka was still bowled over by the emotional impact of seeing Soubi for the first time since that day. 

“Um…” He gripped the suitcase handle and stared down at the floor, contemplating Soubi’s bare feet.  “I-I’m just here to get some of my things.  I’m… going away for a while.”

Ritsuka braced himself for the inevitable question of where he was going.  The thing of it was, he had no idea.  All he knew was that he needed to leave. 

But instead of interrogating him, Soubi merely stood aside, allowing him entrance.  Not quite what he had expected but probably for the best. 

Ritsuka stepped inside, tensing as he walked past Soubi.  He placed the suitcase on top of the unmade bed and opened it up, then quickly removed his clothing from the drawer that Soubi had reserved just for him.  After he killed Misaki.

The teen winced as if struck.  The past two weeks had been full of moments like that, moments when his brain would cruelly bombard him with random horrors of Soubi’s doings.   It was the worst at night, when Ritsuka would curl up on Kio’s sofa and try not to imagine exactly how those things occurred. 

When he was finished packing, he turned and found the older man still standing by the door, looking everywhere except at him. 

“Soubi,” Ritsuka began shakily, trying to get a handle on all the things he felt he needed to say.  “I just want you to know that _I know_ that you couldn’t help it.  I don’t understand, but I know.  Kio… he told me how things used to be when you were with Seimei, what he put you through.  I didn’t want to believe it.  Even though I knew about…”

He motioned towards his neck in reference to the wretched word that was carved into Soubi’s flesh.

“… and that day… the way he hurt you… and…”

The teen exhaled sharply, his composure slipping fast.

“… and it’s all my fault.”

Soubi’s head snapped up, his eyes wide with disbelief.

“Everything he did… everything he made _you_ do…”  Ritsuka blinked against the sting.  “It’s all my fault,” he said again.

“No.”  Soubi crossed the room and grabbed him by the arms, pulling him close.  “Ritsuka, no.  That’s not true at all.”

“Yes, it is! If it wasn’t for me, then none of this would have ever happened.”

Soubi swept a hand along Ritsuka’s cheek.  Ritsuka closed his eyes; he didn’t want to want Soubi’s touch, but old habits died very hard. 

“Ritsuka, if you hadn’t intervened, there’s no telling how many others would have died.  By my own hand.  I know it doesn’t change what happened to Breathless… and your mother… but the others are alive because you stopped me.  If it wasn’t for you…” 

Soubi let the implication speak for itself. 

Slowly, regretfully, Ritsuka extracted himself from Soubi’s arms.  He had to get out of there before he broke down.  “I have to go,” he said thickly, grabbing the suitcase and walking towards the door.  “I’ll be in touch with Kio,” he added.  “Just… so you know.  In case… whatever.”

Ritsuka’s hand closed over the doorknob--

“I love you, Ritsuka.”

There was a time when hearing Soubi say those words hurt Ritsuka for reasons he could not understand.  Now it hurt all over again, worse than ever, because things would never be the same again between them. 

_Never_.

But that still didn’t change how he felt.

“I love you, too.”

And then he _did_ break down, irreparably, and he bolted out of the apartment in tears, running away as fast as his legs would carry him, away from Soubi, away from his lie of a life, away from all of it.

*****

Three years would pass before he finally stopped running.

 

 

  
_I cannot breathe.  The way I feel about you suffocates._   
_I will not speak.  The words I feel about you go to waste._   
_Close your eyes to fight the demons deep within your mind._   
_…I’m your sacrifice._

_“Sacrifice” by Silverstein_


	12. Epilogue

**NOW**

 

Soubi paused, the tip of the knife’s blade hovering ominously over the B that was etched into his skin. 

He thought that perhaps he should leave some sort of note.  But then again, who would care to read his final thoughts?  Well, Kio.  Kio would care.  Since Yuiko moved away, Kio was Soubi’s only link to humanity.  Or something sort of like it.  And maybe Ritsu would care.  The man had humbled considerably over the years, to the point where he and Soubi were almost amicable with one another.   

Ultimately, however, he decided against it.  If he stopped now, then that tiny sliver of self-preservation might triumph, holding him hostage to a life he no longer had any real desire to live.  He had promised Ritsuka that he would fight, if only for him, but the truth of the matter was that Soubi had no idea how to fight anymore.  And even if he did, what was he fighting for?  Ritsuka was gone.  Soubi had nothing.  Soubi _was_ nothing.  Not without him. 

“I’m sorry, Ritsuka,” he whispered, pressing the blade against his neck.  “I… I tried.”

“Not hard enough, obviously.”

The knife fell to the floor, where it came dangerously close to stabbing Soubi in the foot.  Not that he would have noticed, being too overcome with shock at the sight of the man standing in the middle of the apartment.  He was a little taller now, his hair a little longer, and his eyes a little less lively.  But it was still his beautiful Ritsuka.

Ritsuka came towards Soubi and picked up the knife and the bandage that had pooled around Soubi’s feet when he removed it from his neck.  A frown passed over his face as he looked at the knife, as if contemplating all the things it had done over the years, all the lives it had ruined.  He wrapped the bandage around it, concealing it from view.

“I wasn’t going to come in,” he began.  Soubi noted that even his voice was a little deeper.  It made perfect sense, though, seeing as how Ritsuka was now twenty years old.

“I stood out there… I don’t know how long… but I didn’t think I could deal with seeing you again just yet.” Ritsuka moved away from Soubi and took a seat on the couch, placing the wrapped knife down beside him.  “But then I felt… something.  I don’t know.  I guess that bonding crap never really goes away, does it?”

Purple eyes glared at Soubi, full of hurt and accusation. 

“Did you think that I wouldn’t care if you died?  Why do you think I stopped you the first time?”

“I…”  Soubi leaned against the dresser, his head hung low and his hair falling into his face.  “I didn’t know what to think anymore.  I didn’t know if I would ever see you again.”

Ritsuka ran an agitated hand through his long black hair.  “Well, I’m here now.  So promise me.  Promise me that you won’t ever try to do that again.  And I don’t mean promise me and then lie to me like you used to do when I was a kid.  Promise me _for real_ , Soubi.”

Optimism bloomed in Soubi’s heart, despite his better judgment.  He knew better than to believe that they could ever be together again. 

But Ritsuka was there.  That was something.

Right now, that was _everything_. 

“… I promise.”

*****

They talked for the next two hours, sitting on opposite ends of the couch.  The conversation was guarded, but informative.  Ritsuka had gone to live with his father for a while.  When the man announced his plans to remarry, he struck out on his own, working at random part-time jobs and living in a small room that made Soubi’s apartment look like a mansion in comparison.  He eventually graduated from high school but beyond that, the inspiration just wasn’t there.  There were no aspirations, no dreams, no goals.  Nothing.  His entire life, full of nothing.  Not unlike Soubi, who had also given up pursuing his education.  He tutored occasionally, thanks to Kio’s connections, and was able to pay the rent but that was the extent of his contribution to society. 

Later on, Ritsuka left and headed over to Kio’s to impose on his sofa.  He returned the next day, much to Soubi’s surprise, and they talked some more, with Soubi listening eagerly to tales of ignorant co-workers and questionable landlords. 

And then the next day.

And the day after that.

On the fifth day, Ritsuka asked if he could stay for dinner.

“I don’t really keep much food in the house anymore,” Soubi informed him, apologetically.

Ritsuka opened the refrigerator and peered inside.  The man wasn’t lying.  

“There’s nothing in here.  Do you even eat?” he demanded to know.

“Every now and then,” Soubi replied somewhat guiltily.  “I’ll order a pizza if you want.”

“I’ve been pretty much living off pizza for the past year.  And Kio’s cooking…” Ritsuka shook his head.

“I know,” Soubi agreed, knowing all too well what destruction his best friend was capable of in the kitchen.

“I want _real_ food for a change.  Come on.” 

Ritsuka walked to the door and waited for Soubi to follow.

“We’re going to the grocery store.”

*****

While Soubi hadn’t been confident that his culinary abilities still passed muster, Ritsuka ate with a gusto that spoke otherwise.  It made him feel good.  Also, for as much as Ritsuka had harped that evening about Soubi being skin and bones, he looked as if he could have stood to gain a few pounds himself, which he might have very likely done in that one meal alone. 

They stood at the sink, washing and drying dishes, much like a long ago night when they made love for the first time.  For Soubi, the déjà vu was overwhelming and painful.

“Do you miss it?”  Ritsuka asked.

“Miss what?”

Ritsuka scrubbed a stubborn splotch from one of the plates they’d used and offered it to him before replying.  “Your power.”

“No, I don’t.”  Soubi took the plate and tried not to think about the way their fingers brushed against each other.   “Ritsu thinks that it might come back one day but it’s probably for the best that it doesn’t.  Nothing good can come of it.”

“You saved Ritsu’s life,” Ritsuka pointed out.  “That was a good thing.”

“It doesn’t make up for everything else,” Soubi responded quietly. 

The bowl that Ritsuka had been working on slipped through his fingers and dropped into the water.  Soubi risked a glance at Ritsuka’s downturned head and felt a sudden and fierce urge to hold him.  After years of missing Ritsuka, longing for him, it was beyond maddening to have him right there in front of him and not be able to do so. 

“That wasn’t your fault.  If Seimei hadn’t… if he hadn’t made you…”

Soubi froze, towel in hand.  It was the first time that either of them had spoken of Seimei, and Soubi couldn’t help but wonder if Ritsuka’s frustrated sigh signaled the beginning of the end of whatever tentative peace there had been between them since his return.  He didn’t want to have this conversation, not when things had been going so well.  But he also couldn’t keep quiet any longer. 

“When you stopped me from hurting the others… it felt like this veil was lifted… from my eyes, from my mind, from _everywhere_.” Soubi fidgeted with the corner of the dish towel.  “I could feel everything that I had ever done.  Not just… then… but back through all those years with Seimei.  All the people I hurt.  I was only following orders, but it doesn’t change what I did.  How can you not hate me for that?”

“I wanted to,” Ritsuka admitted, turning around from the sink and resting his back against it.  “I _tried_ to.  I think that one of the biggest reasons I stayed away for so long was because I knew the second I saw you again, I would realize that I couldn’t.  And that’s exactly what happened.  I will never understand the kind of hold that my brother had over you.  But I can’t judge you for that.  He had a hold over me, too.”

He sighed again, a long, slow exhale that seemed to come from deep within.  Soubi stretched out his arm, cradling a cool cheek in the palm of his hand and wondering if Ritsuka would pull away.

He didn’t.

“Soubi?”

“Hm?”

“Can I stay here tonight?”

Soubi fell silent.  Not because he actually needed to think about the question, but because he wasn’t sure if he was physically capable of speaking on account of the swell of emotions churning through him. 

“Of course,” he finally managed.  “You can stay as long as you want.”

*****

The couch wasn’t nearly as comfortable as Kio’s, but that wasn’t the reason that Ritsuka couldn’t sleep.  After an hour of tossing and turning, he gave up and blinked into the darkness, wrestling with the decision that, deep down, he knew he had already made.  

“Soubi? Are you asleep?”

“No.”

Ritsuka got up and crossed the room.  He crawled into the bed and slid into the arms that waited for him, and in that one simple yet monumental moment, years of hurt and anguish and guilt and sadness came undone.

“Ritsuka,” Soubi whispered, crushing him in his embrace.  “Please forgive me.”

Ritsuka buried his face in Soubi’s chest.  It felt like home.

“Idiot.  I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

They clung to one another, two ravaged souls that had nothing save for each other.  Ritsuka shuddered as Soubi pressed his lips to his hair, breathing him in.  Then his forehead.  Then his cheeks, which were suspiciously wet.  And then lastly, finally, his lips.  What was at first a timid joining of mouths soon became deeper and more desperate as their bodies took over where their hearts left off.  Soubi moaned as Ritsuka’s hands roamed along his chest and back, fingers clutching greedily.  Ritsuka felt heat against his thigh, a hard and urgent heat, and with a subtle thrust of the hips, responded with his own.

“Ritsuka, wait…” 

Soubi tried to pull away from him, even though his body was now trembling openly with desire.  But Ritsuka was having none of it.  After all the years it took for them to get to where they were, he was done waiting. 

“Don’t talk,” he murmured against Soubi’s neck.  “Just touch me.  _Please_.”

Ritsuka seized Soubi’s hand and guided it downward.

Soubi needed no further encouragement after that.

*****

Daylight filtered into the apartment.  Soubi opened his eyes and squinted into the offensive brightness. He needed to use the bathroom but decided that he would much rather enjoy the warmth of the arms and legs draped over him a little while longer.

Last night wasn’t a dream.

About a half hour later, Ritsuka finally stirred.

“Good morning,” Soubi said.

“Morning,” Ritsuka croaked.

“Are you hungry?”

“Yeah.”

But instead of getting up, Ritsuka scooted closer to Soubi and let his head fall on the older man’s chest.  Soubi ran his fingers up Ritsuka’s bare back, resulting in a delightful shiver, before weaving them through a nest of unruly black locks.

“Your hair is so long now,” he observed. 

“You don’t like it?”

“I love it.”

Ritsuka propped his chin on Soubi’s chest and looked at him.  His hair was a mess and the corners of his eyes were crusty with gunk and still, Soubi thought that he had never seen anything lovelier. 

“I spoke with Natsuo and Youji the other night.”

“Oh?” 

Soubi had been correct in his prediction.  The Zero boys had not contacted him since that terrible day.  While Soubi could hardly blame them, he actually missed the little jerks quite a bit.  

“I’m going to go see them,” Ritsuka continued.  “And I want you to come with me.”

The digits that stroked Ritsuka’s hair came to a halt.  “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?  They know why I came back, so it shouldn’t be that much of a surprise.”  Ritsuka nudged his head against Soubi’s fingers, urging him to continue.  “Besides, if they want to be a part of my life, then they’ll need to accept the fact that you’re in it.”

“… Am I?”

“I’m still here, aren’t I?”

Soubi swallowed hard.  A week ago, he had been prepared to slit his own throat.  Today, he was the happiest that he had ever been. 

He still had to live with his sins.  Every single day, for the rest of his life.  Such was the price he would have to pay. 

But Ritsuka had forgiven him.  One day, he might even be able to forgive himself. 

Not _today_. 

But one day.

“How have they been?” he asked, steering the subject away from things that were certain to make him react embarrassingly.

“Same as ever.”

“You mean rude and nosy and sexually inappropriate?”

Ritsuka smiled.  For the first time in years. He met Soubi’s gaze and shrugged in resignation.

“It’s okay to smile, Soubi,” he reassured him softly. "Why don't you try it?"

Soubi looked upon eyes that were filled with affection.

And then he did.


	13. Bonus - A New Beginning

A very amused Soubi watched as Ritsuka fought with the overstuffed suitcase that was lying on top of the bed they would no longer share after tonight. After almost fifteen minutes of struggling, the suitcase was still winning by a rather sizable margin.  
  
Eventually, with considerable effort and a shocking amount of profanity, Ritsuka managed to zip it closed. He grabbed the handle and came dangerously close to throwing his back out while trying to drag it down to the floor. Soubi grinned at his misfortune and immediately found himself on the receiving end of an adorably agitated glare. Naturally, this only made him grin even more.  
  
“I’m glad you think this is so funny,” Ritsuka growled. “I bet you won’t think that when I’m stuck on my back in our new bed.”  
  
A lecherous smile spread across Soubi’s face as he considered such a delightful scenario. “Actually…”  
  
“Never mind. Pervert.”  
  
Ritsuka quickly turned away, but not before Soubi spotted the redness in his cheeks. After everything they had done to each other over the year since their reconciliation, every inch of skin between them that was touched and stroked and kissed and licked without the first hint of shame, how was it even possible that he could still blush like that?  
  
As tempted as Soubi was to question this, he decided to save it for later. “I’ll get it,” he said, gently nudging the young man out of the way. He lifted the suitcase off the bed and placed it down on the floor, doing so with ease even though it was about to burst due to almost every piece of clothing Ritsuka owned being crammed into it. “You should get going,” he added. “Kio is waiting for you.”  
  
“But I was going to help you finish packing,” Ritsuka pointed out.  
  
Soubi shook his head. “Most of it is done and I can handle what little is left by myself. Besides, studying is far more important.”  
  
It was actually the _most_ important thing as far as Soubi was concerned, but he was always very careful not to sound too parental in his advice. For painfully obvious reasons.  
  
Four years had passed since the series of tragic events that drove Ritsuka away. Tragic events… it was a polite way of stating that Soubi had brutally murdered Ritsuka’s mother and Ai and Midori before finally killing the one who made him kill the others in the first place. Though not expressly forbidden, Seimei’s name was almost never spoken between them. However, the permanent reminder of his cruel and sadistic ways was still carved into Soubi’s skin, never allowing him to forget his part in the destruction caused by Beloved. Soubi could barely stand to look at himself in a mirror at all, let alone without the bandages that concealed his mark. That Ritsuka was willing and able to touch him there, to taint his fingers and lips by caressing those jagged scars every time they made love, was a testament to the forgiveness that Soubi would never feel that he deserved.  
  
It had been extremely slow and awkward going at first as both men tried to resume their relationship while understanding that it would never be the way it used to be. All the while, Soubi had kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, convinced that Ritsuka would suddenly announce his inability to be with him, regardless of the young man’s insistence that such a thing would never happen. And twelve months later, miraculously, it still hadn’t happened. There had been times when Ritsuka had occasionally fallen silent, his purple eyes staring thoughtfully into space as if contemplating something profound, and Soubi had kept his distance, worried that his very presence would trigger something dreadful. But then Ritsuka would snap out of it and carry on as if it hadn’t happened at all. It wasn’t until last month when he finally revealed the two things that were burdening his mind: he wanted to move out of the apartment and he wanted to go back to school.  
  
Soubi completely understood wanting to move. For all of the fond memories created in the apartment, from those first tentative weeks as Fighter and Sacrifice ages ago right up until their first night together as lovers, there were just as many bad memories to overshadow them. And as for Ritsuka going back to school, Soubi couldn’t have been more pleased to hear that. In spite of his own failure at higher education (one day he would try again… perhaps), he took Ritsuka’s desire to move forward with his own as a good sign, an indication that he had truly put the past behind him and wanted to make something out of the shattered pieces of his life. Kio had even offered to help him relearn a number of things he had forgotten since giving up on the idea of college, hence Soubi’s insistence that he get going and leave the rest of the packing to him.  
  
It was hardly the life he had imagined for them back before Seimei resurfaced for the last time. But even so, they were still together. That was all the reason Soubi needed to wake up every morning, even if he didn’t feel worthy of doing so. It was the reason he could swallow his self-loathing and be the partner that Ritsuka needed him to be.  
  
“Fine,” Ritsuka said, lightly kicking at the suitcase that had wronged him. “I won’t be too long, though. Tonight’s our last night here and I want it to be special.”  
  
“It will be,” Soubi promised. He had an entire evening of special in mind for him, starting with dinner and ending with… other things.  
  
Ritsuka stepped closer to him and kissed him gently. “I’m not saying it first this time,” he told him after they parted.  
  
Soubi pressed his forehead to Ritsuka’s as he struggled with the words he longed to say, the words he _had_ said so frequently once upon a time. What right did he even have to say such a thing after everything that happened?  
  
But if Ritsuka wanted him to say it…  
  
“I love you, Ritsuka.”  
  
“I love you too, Soubi.” Ritsuka cupped the older man’s face in his hands and forced him to meet his insistent gaze, begging him to understand, to believe. “ _I love you too._ Okay?”  
  
With a shaky sigh, Soubi nodded. He kissed the palm of Ritsuka’s left hand while the right swept along his cheek and neck. “Go on,” he murmured, reluctantly pulling away.  
  
Ritsuka planted one last kiss on Soubi’s cheek. After watching him leave, Soubi sat down on the bed and allowed himself a moment to bask in the joy that Ritsuka’s affection brought him, letting it temporarily blot out all of the bad feelings that hung over him in a constant cloud. He didn’t know if the day would ever come when he could fully embrace his happiness without any underlying guilt. It didn’t seem possible but he could always hope.  
  
But enough of that for now. There were many things that needed to be done before Ritsuka returned home and Soubi didn’t want to waste any more time. He stood up and headed for the kitchen to start dinner, then realized that he needed a hair tie lest their last dinner in the apartment end up garnished with strands of blond hair. Soubi headed toward the bathroom to grab one of Ritsuka’s, whose black hair was almost as long as his now, and he paused just outside of the closed door, frowning.  
  
Wondering.  
  
And then remembering.  
  
Ritsu’s words from his days of training, etched onto his soul with each brutal lash of a whip.  
  
 _Destiny cannot be altered. This is your destiny._  
  
Soubi knew. He knew before he raised his hand to the door and he knew before a quietly uttered phrase caused it to open without being touched.  
  
His power had returned. He could feel it lurking just beneath flesh and bone, like some great and terrible beast waiting to be unleashed onto the world. And to Soubi, that was precisely what it was—a beast, one that had no business or right existing after having destroyed so many lives, including Soubi’s. But this particular beast was a part of him, no different than his heart or lungs or any other vital component of his being. While it could be forced into a dormant state, as had been the case when he pulled Ritsu from the brink of death, Soubi realized now that it could never, _would_ never, be completely eliminated.  
  
He wondered what Ritsuka would say about it. Not telling him was not an option as he had vowed to never lie to him again. As for Ritsu, the less he knew, the better. Soubi’s fighting days were over. He was no longer a mindless Fighter with no will of his own, and his life was no longer defined by wordspell. Ritsuka’s words were—  
  
 _(law)_  
  
—the only ones that held meaning for him anymore.  
  
Soubi stepped into the bathroom and spotted a hair tie on the sink. He swept his hair into a ponytail (while carefully avoiding his reflection), then went into the kitchen to start dinner, smiling to himself as he cooked and anticipating not only tonight, but a brand new beginning in a brand new apartment.  
  
A brand new life.  
  
And this time around, he planned on getting it right.


End file.
